Flumes Vol. 6: Issue 1, Summer 2021 | Page 58

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This man I knew only to be an eccentric collector of things and memories of the most eclectic characters the world has ever known was apparently an expert of comedic timing. He punctuated his confession by maintaining full eye contact and a smile, and simultaneously reaching up with his left big toe to restart the jets. The moment the bubbles came to life he whipped his head down fast enough that the sunglasses flopped right into place. He then spent half an hour telling me about Ofren’s and the summer he worked there sweeping floors, painting oil on top of croissants before baking and cleaning out the ovens at the end of the day. Then he told me his cousin’s address and suggested with a much more muted chuckle that I should drop it on his porch, ring the bell and run away. I had no choice but to follow through and was only slightly embarrassed when his cousin happened to be so close to the door that when he opened up to see who was there, I had only made it about ten feet away on my mad dash to the car. All I could manage was to yell, “Paul sends his regards!” without looking back. When I told Paul about the episode the next day he seemed slightly perturbed that I had offered any kind of friendly greeting. In true Paul fashion there was some fleece accompanying his steel wool.

“I really hate that guy,” he said. “But that’s funny.”

On the last day Paul handed me the final check in an envelope stamped SECRET/CONFIDENTIAL. My face scrunched up in confusion and I asked him the meaning.

“That’s between you and me,” came his deadpan response.

We both smiled in the way you do at the end of an amicable breakup. He and I were the couple who had a great time together for a few months, but it was clear what we had together had run its course. We each got something out of the relationship, something we would carry in our hearts for the rest of our lives. We would think about each other on a warm day staring at a tree branch swaying softly in the wind. Maybe an item or something we saw on TV would trigger a laugh. There would be no animosity, but there was also