Flumes Vol. 6: Issue 1, Summer 2021 | Page 54

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So many fascinating lives lived, and what I as an aimless young person imagined as so many perfect souls who could guide someone like me on the human journey.

Paul repeatedly told me he didn’t care what I did with his things as long as I got them out of his house. I call him surly because despite being nice to me and waxing nostalgic about all these characters from his past, at this point in his life he was so ready to clear out his home he became openly antagonistic toward the contents. He finished his story about Steely Dan’s Pretzel Logic record by whipping it across the room, barely missing decapitating a three-foot foam statue of Thomas Jefferson he picked up from the back of a van in a carnival parking lot in Lincoln, Nebraska. After telling me about a beat-up bowling ball he heard once belonged to 19th Century U.S. Rep. William Calhoun, Paul eyed a stack of wine glasses he told me he obtained at an estate sale at some Vanderbilt cousin’s house. Fortunately, bowling is not remotely among Paul’s many talents and the wall leading into his kitchen absorbed the damage while the glasses remained upright and intact. “Lucky bastards,” he mumbled as he shuffled out to check on the hot tub temperature.

About half the items went to a charity group near my house that sells donated goods to raise money for outreach programs for the homeless. I like their mission, but honestly my motivation for going to them was shallowly based on the fact that they are located in an area of town full of small businesses lined up in old warehouse spaces, and one of those happens to be an amazing coffee shop with the most delightful blueberry muffins known to man. I will not apologize for that. Everyone won! Lighten up, people! Another quarter of Paul’s things I listed on eBay, the ones that seemed like they would have actual value to someone, somewhere. I’m talking what I thought could bring in at least $20, including a vase I was pretty sure was legit made in China in like the year 700 (I was wrong, but someone in New York still paid $4,500 for it). I’m not especially proud of this part of the operation. When I started the listings, I had every intention of donating at least half of the