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auction proceeds to charity as well, but the money dropped into my bank account and it just never left. Maybe one day I’ll do the right thing, but every time I’ve thought about writing the check I stop and think that I should just hold onto the money until I feel stable enough to weather any financial emergency that may arise. Five years into my business I should let this feeling go, but I can’t. At some point people will just start doing all this cleaning out their lives all by themselves, right? I’ll be obsolete? In the back of my head I’m still the nothing who knows nothing.
The only thing of Paul’s I kept for myself was a large oak desk that he told me was once part of the Manhattan offices of the advertising firm that made all the Coke ads in the 1960s. I don’t remember the name. But I will never forget that the guy Paul bought it from went by the nickname The Baker which Paul said was due to this guy’s ability to obtain an item, sit on it for a number of years and have it inevitably increase to a “delicious value.” The desk is still the only nice piece of furniture in my own home. I put it in the room closest to the door so when I have clients over they think I’m very successful and the epitome of class. They don’t get to see the horror show of my own kitchen with its stacks of sort-of clean pans, various-aged (surely expired) open ketchups and the entire shelf of cereal boxes with less than one bowl’s worth remaining inside. I’ll tackle all of that the moment people stop believing my lie and stop giving me money to clean up their much nicer spaces.
Had Paul lived in an average home I probably could have finished the job there in a week. And that was at the beginning when I had really no idea what I was doing. I didn’t know the ways to get rid of it all, and I certainly didn’t have a good plan for methodically cranking through a room until the only thing remaining was a few dust bunnies (I still don’t offer actual cleaning services after I take away your stuff.) Today most normal houses I can finish in three days. I’m not confident enough to offer that in some kind of money back guarantee, but that’s how many days I’ll scribble your name in for on my calendar if you call. I intended on being at Paul’s for two weeks even though