Fit to Print Volume 22, Issue 4 : December 2013 | Page 13
S t a f f Pe r s p e c t i v e
by Marianela Virella-Mielke NSCA-CPT
How’s Your Workout?
10 Signs You’re In Need of a Workout Makeover
4. Old School Rap.
Do your daily snacks rhyme with “Dread”
or “Huffin' & Puffin'?” Then it's time for
you to translate those exact words into
your actual fitness schedule or modify your
eating habits. If you don't push or get
pushed beyond your breezy zone at least
once or twice a week, your records are
not the only things that are going to start
to scratch.
3. No Fuss on The Cheese Bus.
If you think the Pajama LOOK at the bus
stop is an acceptable approach to all day
style, you're at the wrong terminal.
Pajamas are specifically designed to
Simulated Sluming:
Can You Pick Out the Violations?
The Battling Ropes of Power X
If you think the Pajama LOOK
at the bus stop is an acceptable
approach to all day style, you're
at the wrong terminal.
encourage drowsiness and its extra roomy
dimensions do not naturally breed
energetic movement. Snap out of it and
find something else in your drawer that
will encourage you to be more active.
10. No one can tell the difference between
the treadmill setting you had on today,
yesterday and the day before that.
Don't be fooled. The staleness of your fitness
routine is not “Without A Trace.” Those TV
actors would be able to converge on you at
any given moment during your workout.
There is absolute value and reward for
consistency but this uneventful series you're
hosting is clearly ridiculous.
9. You respect your own opinion over
scientifically sound research.
Even after being gently chided by a trusted
friend about an ill fitting top, receiving a
wake up call medical report or given some
nutritional guidance by a Certified Personal
Trainer or fit buddy, your automatic response
is still “Well, I like MY...bread, creamer
(insert favorite fun foods here)” or “I HAVE
to have MY...in the morning, afternoon, at
night... Guess you prefer clinging to comfort
than practicing some moderation, after all.
MY, OH, MY...
8. AAAHHH!!! The Cookie Monster's
Coming!!!
The second you step into the house, your
kids/grand kids/spouse call out to you in
laughter:
“Daddy/Grandpa/Honey, don't eat my Devil
Dogs/Oreo Cookies/Pretzels!” You're busted.
Just surrender.
7. NEW!!! Starbucks Offers a Special Rewards
Card for Exclusive Members.
You've been at the gym for 2 hours and
22 minutes STRAIGHT and your coffee
cup is sweating more than you are. If
you think you've accomplished a full
body workout after sitting on a machine
and texting, tweeting and updating your
facebook profile twice while “getting
your gym on,” it's time to e-mail one of
our personal trainers for an
appointment.
6. High Beam Alert.
Your usual gym gear has its own
“distinctive aura” and can run off by
itself in an aggravated assault. There
has to be another 5 k/work/hangout tshirt already hanging in the closet that
doesn't beam like emergency headlights.
For the love of community and shared
space. Please.
5. You're a Label Snob.
You SWEAR that your jeans or sweatshirt
have been magically reduced a size or
two in the dryer but the label indicates
that the fabric's already been “PRETREATED” , “PRE-SHRUNK” and doesn't
contain rayon, polyester, silk or other
tricky fabrics. When you explain your
tiny dilemma to your friends, they all
politely nod and agree with you. Hey! It
sounds like they've encountered the
same exact problem as you! Those darn
labels.
Holidays 2013 FIT to Print
2. Valet Parking IS Closed.
Although you have been medically cleared
for moderate exercise, you get more
enjoyment out of just staying home and
Googling your ailments. When you ??)????????????????????????????)??????????????????????????????)?????q10?Q!?]g?t????????)???????????????????????????????)?????????????????????????????????)?????????????????????e????????????)????????????????????????????)?????????????????????????????????)????????????????????????????????????)???????????????????????????????)???????????????????=???????????)??????????????????(??QI%9 ?%P?U@?)e?????????????????????????????????)???????????????????????????????)??????????????????????????e??????)???????????????????????????????+?q?????????????t???????????????????)??????????????????%?????????)???????????????????????????????)e???????????????????????????)????????????????e??????????????)??????????????????????????????)?????????????????????????????????????)??????????????Q???????????????)?????????????????????????????????????)???????????????????????????????? P)Q