Q. What should you say?
A. You may be tempted to say as little as possible in order to
spare your children’s feelings, but then they may try to fill in
the gaps themselves. Explain what is happening in an open
and honest way. Although they may be devastated by
the news, it is important not to give children false ideas to
make them feel better. If you tell them that nothing will
change, they may be temporarily reassured, but then
discover that actually everything is going to change.
This could cause confusion and even resentment.
Q. How much should you tell
them?
A. Try to keep things clear and brief. Don’t
explain the complex reasons behind the
separation and avoid criticising your expartner, which may make your children feel
they have to take sides. Most importantly, let
your children know it is not their fault. You
might want to suggest that although a
grown-up’s love for another can change,
a parent’s love for their child is forever.
Children can think that if mum and dad
have stopped loving each other, you
will stop loving them. Reassure them
that this will never be the case.
Rachel Buckley is a Director of the
Family Law Company by Hartnell
Chanot. Rachel has over 15 years’
experience in advising members of
the Emergency and Armed Forces.
The firm offers a 10% discount to those
who are members of the service and
offers the first appointment entirely free.
Rachel can advise on:• Divorce
• Finances
• Fire service pensions on divorce
• Children Fire engine from
Nantwich and Audlem Fire Stations
• Pre-Nuptial Agreements and
Separation Agreements
• Domestic abuse
Contact Rachel on
01392 457 155
[email protected]
www.thefamilylawco.com
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