Family law
Divorce
The Family Law Company by Hartnell
Chanot has been serving fire service
personnel and their families for over 20
years helping them to resolve their marital
disputes in a non-confrontational way.
Rachel Buckley, Director and Head of the
Divorce and Finance team, gives outlined
ways of telling your children that you
are separating one of the most difficult
conversations a parent can face.
Q. How do you tell
your children you are
splitting up?
A. There is no easy way to tell your
children and there are no hard and fast
rules - every family is different and much
will depend on the relationship between
family members before the separation.
However, there are steps you can take
to make the whole experience as
positive as it can be.
Q. Who should tell the
children?
A. This depends on the relationship
between you and your ex-partner. If you
are still amicable, it is beneficial to tell the
children together. Encourage them to
come to either of you with their individual
concerns afterwards and to speak to you
both separately if they wish.
Q. How should you tell the
children?
A. There is no ‘right’ way to tell children you
are separating and bear in mind you may
feel nervous, upset and confused. If possible,
tell them gradually, and not at the last minute.
They will need time to adjust to the news and will
want to talk more about it with you. Try to avoid
the beginning of school term or GCSE exams, even
bedtimes or when children are tired. Choose a time
when you know you can stay with them for as long
as they need you to.
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