Inspirational Story
meantime. After
that phone call, I
sobbed (again) to my
husband who assured
me that he did not view me
any differently and whatever
I wanted to do--adoption, egg
donor, only have cats instead of
kids--he would support 100%. It
was a very rough week.
ovary
was
extremely
small, my
right ovary
was
too small
to be
seen, and my antral follicle count
was a measly one. Why or why
had I told my husband to skip this
appointment? I had ultrasounds
done in the past and within the
preceding 30 days, but was always
told that everything looked fine
and that my right ovary was merely being obscured by my intestines. Now I was being told that
there was hardly anything to be
seen. My doctor told me that we
should not jump to conclusions,
but he was concerned I might have
premature ovarian failure (sometimes referred to as premature
ovarian insufficiency). He wanted
to run some blood tests to find out
exactly what was going on. “Here
we go again,” I thought.
I
was out of town for my grandmother’s funeral a few weeks
later. My doctor contacted me and
said my lab results did not look
good; one of my hormones was so
low, it didn’t even register on the
scale. It looked pretty definitive
that I was in early menopause and
suffering from premature ovarian
failure. Yet he stressed that we
give it some time since I had been
on birth control for so many years
and repeat the blood tests monthly
to see if anything changed. It was
a long shot, but I had nothing to
lose. He suggested I consider the
possibilities of adoption and surrogacy with an egg donor in the
I could not be pregnant myself.
Adoption research? Check.
W
then spent a good deal of
time researching adoption
online. The information I
found was not promising. If
we pursued a private, domestic adoption, who was going
to choose a sick mother? The
thought of proving to someone
that my illness was under control
and that I was “worthy” was not
appealing. In addition, having an
adoption plan fall through was
a very real risk. Some organizations suggest that close to 50%
of birth mothers have a change
of heart regarding adoption, and
I was not ready for another major
disappointment. I then considered a public domestic adoption
through my city or state.
hen I met with a fertility
counselor in early 2013,
she confirmed the findings of my
adoption research. She believed
egg donation and a gestational carrier was my best option. She gave
me access to the hospital’s egg
donor page and suggested I look
through it to get used to the idea.
I spent time over the next week
looking through the various profiles of young women. I thought
I could find someone like me--fair
skin, brown hair, brown eyes,
educated, musically inclined, and
perhaps of similar descent. My
search was fruitless. I wasn’t even
able to find someone with brown
hair and fair skin. Feeling slightly
disappointed but fully aware that
there were plenty of other options
out there, I decided to table the
whole baby issue for a few months
and focus on other things. I continued the monthly blood tests. I
also had another round of cervical
facet nerve ablation, which put me
out of commission for a couple of
months. Take a breather? Check.
T
U
I
his system, particularly in
California where adoptions
outside one’s own county are
limited, left much to be desired
and came with more obstacles
than a private adoption. As for
international adoption,