FHSTheFlash The Flash Volume 47, Issue 8 May 2007 | Page 4

Don George: man...machine....both?
By Kyle Snarski
Editor-in-Chief

Presenting The DonGeorgeBot9000. Part government created humanoid. Part
Anti-McDonald’s freedom fighter. ALL AMERICAN!
The DG.9000’s story begins in the year 2045 in a parallel dimension, in which
America is a desolate wasteland. Ruled by an evil overlord so evil his own
mother wouldn’t feed him as a child, and he had to resort to stealing McDonald’s
hamburgers. James A. Hamburgler (aka Hambuggles) was a bad egg, and
Ronald McDonald did his best to straighten him out but failed miserably. In 2010
Hambuggles was sick of begging for food from the drive-thru window and
decided to take matters into his own hands. So, on one fateful night, the
Hamburglar dove through the drive thru window, pushing attendant Don George
into a deep fryer and leaving him for dead. When Ronald McDonald came out to
investigate he was instantly murdered on the grill. Years later with a combination
of mass marketing, somehow, The McDonald’s corporation had enslaved
America into becoming a giant communist burger processor.
Knowing that America must be restored, it was left to the three knights of the
fastfood table to do the job. Together, The King, Jack in the Box, and the ghost
of Dave Thomas joined together to create the ultimat fighting cyborg American.
Unfortunately the bodies of both Steven Segal and Keanu Reeves were
cremated, so they went to the next best thing…. DON GEORGE! Using all his

knowledge (and approximately 19.8 billion dollars), they
reconstructed him. They made him stronger. The DG9000 was
born.
Sadly, by the time he was completed the Hamburglar had
passed away from a heart attack, thus proving no one can live off
of just fast food. Not even evil!
So, the DG9000 found a new use being sent to our dimension
to teach government. But don’t think this mild mannered teacher
isn’t still programmed to kill. With laser eyes and kung-fu red pen
grip, nothing scares the DG9000. And cheaters…. well, cheaters
are just terminated! failed.

Clones! Clones!Clones!
Clones!Clones!Clones!
Clones!
Clones!
Clones!
Clones!
Clones!
Clones!
By Josh Cousineau
Assistant Editor

Clones!

Due to a lack of attendance at recent sports fate of these clones may be different than
events, Fraser Schools have decided on a the school had intended.
controversial method t