For this month’s issue, we were tasked with writing about “kids.” As someone who still considers herself a “kid” in many ways–I graduated from college about three months ago—this prompt posed a bit of a challenge: Was I supposed to speak as a newly minted adult with sage advice for the preteens of the world or as someone who was recently ousted from the proverbial kid’s table?
If the first question was, “Who am I?” the second—and more pressing question—was, “Who are the ‘kids?’” Or more importantly, “What would the ‘kids’ want to read?”
I started thinking about what I wished I knew as a “kid” and quickly realized that all of my deep, burning questions about life—specifically love, identity, and relationships—began when I was about 15 years old.
As a late bloomer at a co-ed high school, I often felt self-conscious around my peers and had trouble fitting in. My mother would insist that nothing was wrong with me, but I would always reply, “Of course you say that. You’re my mom!”
I now know that she was right, of course, but it took years to finally see the truth in her assurances. As a teen, it was hard to see the affirmations of a loving parental figure as anything but “corny” or deeply biased. As young people, we tended to question a lot of things—even our self-worth and the authenticity of the words spoken to us—until we worried ourselves silly. Who, then, can cut through the din of post-pubescent self-doubt?
Maybe it’s the new adults: the slightly older guard with a lot less “kid” in them but just as much anxiety about the next step. Not quite “kid,” not quite “adult,” recent grads are perfect people to ask about the uneasy, liminal phase known as “the teenage years” with some clarity and a lot of sympathy.
Over the Labor Day weekend, I asked my friends, who are mostly recent grads and undergrads, to reflect on their teen years, specifically what they wished they knew at 15. The answers varied from pithy and amusing (“That blue eyeliner is a no”) to introspective. One friend, who is finishing up her fourth year at NYU, wrote, “There is no rush to grow up. There is growth that happens everyday. Focus on that growth rather than the growth you cannot control.”
ADVICE FOR TEENS FROM A "NEW" ADULT
by June Jennings