You may have heard of the book by Gary Chapman called The 5 Love Languages. In it, he outlines 5 different ways that people tend to express and receive love. They are Quality Time, Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Physical Touch and Receiving Gifts. He describes how each of us has a primary way of expressing love and indicates that we like to receive love in that same way. Through my work with couples, I believe that each one of these “languages” can also be seen as important tools to deepen your connection with your partner and nourish your relationship.
Quality Time: When you begin to date someone, you spend time together going on dates and focusing on getting to know the person. In the beginning, it’s easy to be fully engaged, because you are learning about each other and determining whether or not he or she is a person you want in your life. As a relationship progresses however, it is important to become more mindful of really tuning in to each other when you are together. Even if you are in a long term relationship, you need dates! Spend time, just the two of you, with the intention of connecting with your mate and being fully tuned in to the experience without distraction. Putting away cell phones and turning off computers or other electronic distractions is a great way to show that you are committed to being present with him or her.