Prior to this time, it was “all about the guy.” Relationship drama was the point of life, or so I liked to believe. I still believe in love, but I have taken a step back from relationship - not exactly by choice - but by consistent blocks making it essential for me to “just do me” for a while.
This has been my Journey of Sovereignty, and it’s something we all deserve if we don’t have it now. You can also be in a relationship while having Sovereignty, in fact, it works better if you do because you are not looking for the answers in someone else. You know how to find them in yourself.
I’d often heard people talk about Sovereignty and I thought “that’s a pretty word,” but I didn’t know what it meant, exactly.
Just after my second marriage fell apart, I went to a healer. She put me under heavy blankets, and I curled into the fetal position as heartbeat music played loudly in her deep red healing room. With her help, I journeyed back to the womb hoping to heal deep wounds and programming that may have contributed to my current situation.
When I was through weeping and releasing and the healing session was complete, we picked four cards, one for each of the cardinal directions. To the north, I remember vividly, the card “Sovereignty,” and this became my destination, my North Star.
At that point I still didn’t know
the meaning of the word. Something about personal power? Queens came to mind,
but I didn’t know why.
Lately I have learned a lot about Sovereignty.
I had gotten divorced twice, once after 10 years and a son, the second time after just a few months. After divorce one, I found a new man, thinking the new amazing man was the answer – It wasn’t. I ended up with all the same problems, different man.
I was floored, how could this happen?? And to such a nice girl!? 40, I was anything but a girl, but you know what I mean, I’m a lovely, caring woman. How was my life continually falling apart?
Photo Credit Jessica Podraza