The advertising world has pushed its definition of beauty onto us for decades. We have been collectively brainwashed to think beauty means youth and polished perfection -- a dream, created by art directors in advertising agencies. We all know that perfectly photoshopped girl on the cover of a glamour magazine. She is just the right mix of thin and frail, and eternally youthful. Secretly, we all hope to look like her in our pictures. But we don’t.
There is a major gap between what we deem as beautiful (her) and what we see in the picture (self). Her: Perfect poreless skin. Perfectly shaped, thin body. Perfect proportions. Self: Aging skin. Fat. Awkward. Asymmetrical. We look at ourselves in photos, and part of us feels disgust and some variation of self-hate. Some women even cry. Keeping up with someone else’s beauty standard is exhausting and destructive.
When we look at our photographs, our minds apply the “Beauty Standard” filter that measures us up against all the “perfect” women we have seen. When a woman compares her body to another woman, and even more so to a perfectly photoshopped woman, she sets herself up for disappointment and a destructive cycle of dissatisfaction with herself. Her self-esteem plunges as she gives her power away.
The truth is there is beauty in imperfection. In the age of female empowerment, we have to scrupulously examine how we contribute to the dynamic of our own disempowerment. We need to reframe our relationship to self, and what it means to be beautiful. We need to look at our wrinkles. Our stretch marks. Our cellulite. Own it. And even love it.
Self-love is a process that requires awareness and discipline. For a woman to accept herself as she is with all of her “imperfections” is the rite of passage of feminine power. When a woman accepts and loves herself, she makes a claim to herself and the rest of the world that she is worthy of love. And that’s when the magic happens: focus, discernment, fearlessness, confidence, they all follow suit. Self-love gives us permission to ask for what we deserve and feel good about who we are, and what we look like.
Next time you look at yourself in a picture, I dare you to look for the traits that make you beautiful. I dare you to fall in love with yourself.
Model: Mia Ross
Makeup: Gabrielle Post
Wardrobe: Cesair
Photo: Ksenia Poulber