I’ve been more on the artistic side of the aisle my entire career. Working first in digital marketing and then in public relations, it’s always tough to explain to clients why they should invest in something where the results cannot necessarily be guaranteed. And even when the results come, measuring them will not necessarily be possible with precision. Clearly there wasn’t enough of trying to explain ambiguity in my life, because a little over a year ago I quit my job and transitioned to being a freelance writer.
As a writer, I’ve found it’s not my work that needs explaining. Unlike a painting requiring interpretation, my words unfold on the page explaining themselves. Rather, it’s the process of getting the words on the page that is left to interpretation and the person I have to do the most explaining to is me.
Take an engineer or an accountant for example; often times tasks have a specific process, leading to one specific and guaranteed result. My days, on the other hand, often revolve around open-ended ideas, attempting to identify and channel appropriate sources of inspiration and motivation, and following a variety of different processes, all the while having little to no idea what the final product will actually look and sound like.
My writing process calls for me to do things that, from the outside looking in, appear nothing like work in order to give myself the proper fuel.
A long walk on the beach can sometimes be just the thing I need to refresh my mind in order to allow new ideas to flow. But when my husband is glued to his computer screen working away, I can easily convince myself to feel guilty for taking this “break.”
When I find I’ve used the same word in one too many articles, sometimes I need to take time to read other writer's work. Be it other articles, or a novel. Reading a novel in the middle of the day I’m sure looks the life of leisure by anyone observing. But for me, the exposure to another great author’s vocabulary and usage is paramount in continuing to broaden my own.
Has anyone ever seen me reading a book and made a comment regarding my lack of work to do? No. However I create this assumption in my mind and take care of the criticism all on my own.
I’ve come to the understanding this past year that in order to make a living as an artist of sorts, the biggest key to success is knowing what you need and allowing yourself to have it. If others judge, so be it. Remember, judgment typically comes from a place of jealousy or ignorance, or a combination of the two. And who could blame them? I used to spend those long days in a cubicle that many are so dissatisfied with. I get it.
However, the creative outlet I’ve always dreamt of has become my life, and it also happens to support me financially. So rather than beating myself up over the freedom I’ve created space for, I’m working to understand my needs and embrace them everyday.