Why Silence Creates Gaps
Emotional absence in relationships often translates into feelings of being uncaring. The person in the relationship might think to themselves “He doesn’t care.” The problem is typically that he may not know how to express his feelings.
Men are often not taught to express their feelings beyond “fine,” “stressed,” or “angry.” Beyond that, they are uncomfortable and unsure of how to proceed. This lack of communication and expression of feelings leads to misunderstandings and further alienation. Developing emotional intelligence closes the gap and allows for clear communication and relationship building.
Strength Redefined
Men who possess emotional intelligence are not weak. Strength is not about being without feelings; it’s about being able to handle our feelings responsibly.
Leadership is a great place to start. Leaders who are respected are those who are able to think and respond thoughtfully in times of stress and pressure. Developing emotional intelligence in relationships builds trust. Working on developing it in friendships builds loyalty. Developing it in a father-child relationships sets an example for their future. Developing it in romantic relationships fosters intimacy.
Men who have developed their emotional intelligence skills report better communication in relationships and friendships and more mental toughness. Developing emotional intelligence does not diminish masculinity; it enhances it.
The Fear of Vulnerability
Perhaps the biggest impediment to developing emotional intelligence in males is fear. Fear of being judged and thought of as less of a man. Fear of being seen as vulnerable. Cultural norms die hard. Men are still expected to be tough and macho.
However, vulnerability, when done correctly, can help build respect. “I’m stressed,” or “That hurt me,” does not weaken authority; it makes it more human.
Studies show that emotional openness can actually help build stronger connections and reduce conflict with others. When one individual opens up emotionally, it can permit others to open up emotionally as well.
Photo Credit Darius Bashar