Yet men didn’t have the time to develop the characteristics and mindsets needed and valued for this new world. They therefore struggle with huge depths of despair, loneliness, and isolation. Their sense of purpose, their need to be needed and have an identity beyond providing for the family was never developed. As a result, the most serious mental health issues are 3 times more prevalent among men. I want to protect my boys from this phenomenon.
Having one singular identity we hang our hat on affects all of us. I know a disproportionate value of my worth is tied up into being the leader of Edlong. If I lost that role, what would define me?
My 17-year-old son had a devastating knee injury in the 3rd game of his junior year of his football career. It was heartbreaking on so many levels. His younger brother had just been brought up to play varsity, as well. Christopher was left guard and Declan was right guard. They did all humanly possible to protect their quarterback. I might be biased, but they are a force to be reckoned with.
All summer they invested in becoming the best football players they could be. They also invested in leadership, community, culture of the team, and being brothers. The connection, joy, love, and camaraderie were awe inspiring. Their coach talks about the difference of “Love ya vs. Love you” and how profound that difference is. This team gets “love you”.