Of Boys & Men
A Mother of Dragons Perspective on Raising Boys to Become Men
BY LAURETTE RONDENET
y five boys have grown up
with their fathers mostly not
living in our home. A fact I
am not proud of, yet a fact that is sadly true. I am successful enough that I have never needed the financial support of their fathers to raise them. Herein lies the cause of two divorces, but a topic for another day…
In his book, “Of Boys and Men. Why The Modern Male Is Struggling, Why It Matters And What To Do About It”, Richard Reeves discusses the “Dad Deficit” affecting our boys. I was surprised to learn that 1 out of 4 boys don’t live with their fathers. 1 out of 3 lose total contact with their fathers. And the research shows that boys without fathers suffer more than girls.
M
Deficit” affecting our boys. I was surprised to learn that 1 out of 4 boys don’t live with their fathers. 1 out of 3 lose total contact with their fathers. And the research shows that boys without fathers suffer more than girls.
As women have come along strongly since the 1972 Title IX act that opened doors for education and sports programs, our boys have been unintentionally left behind. Two out of five women are the breadwinners in their families, and 40% of women make more than their husbands. As women grow in economic power it has created the first time in history that women have a choice to go it alone.
These are statistics that make me very happy as a professional woman. The unintended consequences worry me for my boys. And this requires a courageous conversation, because talking about men’s issues isn’t very popular in our world today.
The difficult truth is that men in our society — these fathers of our boys — are suffering. The cultural shift happened practically overnight, and the family system was not prepared for it. The model of the husband/father being the bread winner is obsolete.