3. Identify what you already love about who you are. What are some amazing things about you? You can start to answer this question by taking a look at your values. Some examples of values may be generosity, empathy, gratitude, abundance, consistency & determination. The list goes on and on. A great list of values can be found here. Care for your values and live according to them. Most dissonance and frustration arises when we are not living from our core values.
4. Make an agreement with yourself to stay true to you, no matter the circumstances. Once you have a practice of staying true to your values, you have to be mindful of keeping this at the heart of how you live. I agree with Ann Friedman, NY Magazine contributor who writes in her article, How to have a good relationship with yourself, “Contrary to much of the advice peppering the internet, it’s being in a relationship with someone else — not being single — that poses the biggest challenge to self-love. When you’re happily spending lots of your time with another person, it’s easy to forget that you should also be spending time with yourself. Alone. And not just treating yourself, but really thinking about who you are and what you want.” So balancing your relationship with self and your love relationship is the trick. Be mindful to take time for you, snuggling up with a good book alone or spending time away from others to hone in on what you need and what you can do for you.
5. Practice self compassion and avoid comparison. Be kind with yourself regarding any flaws, mistakes or even failures. Use failures as feedback and remember that you cannot fail, if you never try. Give yourself credit for your attempts and avoid comparing yourself to other people. Best selling author and researcher Brene Brown said it best, “Comparison robs you of joy and creativity.”