As a psychotherapist, I frequently work with both men and women to boost confidence and love for self. Unfortunately for many of us, it is a struggle. So how do you determine if you truly love yourself? Here are some insider tips to help you figure out if you really love yourself or if it’s still a work in progress….
1. Notice your messages. The first step is just to observe your self-talk. What do you hear when you listen? Is it condemning and critical, for example, “I hate my nose” or “I am no good at organization”? Or are the messages uplifting and encouraging? “I am so grateful for my senses” or “Staying organized is challenging for me and I am working on it”. We are often our own worst critics, rushing to judgement about our flaws or things that might be “growing edges” for us. Just noticing will give you information about where you are, on the self love journey.
2. Treat yourself like you would a cherished friend. When you begin to notice critical self talk, see if you can redirect it a bit. What would you say to your dearest friend if they were picking themselves apart? Would you ever say something like “I hate your nose” to one of your friends? Or “You really will never be organized, no matter what!” This approach seems to put things into perspective, as most of us cannot fathom being that mean and judgemental to anyone we love. But it’s a practice. We often engage in self criticism without even being aware of the fact that we are doing it. So that’s why noticing has to come first and then attempts to redirect.