I remember when my husband was diagnosed with cancer almost 20 years ago. I witnessed his surgery, chemotherapy and radiation hell. I actually said to him, “I’m such a baby; I could never do this.” That reinforces the idea that we must be mindful of what we say and how we challenge the Gods. God knows what we’re equipped to handle so two years later, I was sitting in the hot seat with a cancer diagnosis that spread from my breast into my bones, lungs, brain, neck, and now lymph system. After almost 20 years of surgery, chemotherapy, and radiation hell, I’ve certainly learned how to face pain, keep on going and not stop to look around or question, “why me?” I stand today a survivalist; I strut with the confidence of a brave warrior. Don’t get me wrong - there are days where I cry in pain, loneliness, and exhaustion, but I wouldn’t trade my lessons for anyone else’s. We are as unique as our fingerprints and must face our own journeys.
My husband and I separated seven years ago, and I have had to go it alone through more than I ever thought I’d be capable of enduring. Some days I feel like a superhero, while others I revert to that scared little girl who would love nothing more than to cling to someone else who might ‘save’ her. I am proud that I’ve shown my children it's ok to cry when you need to, but then how to pick yourself up, dust off, and head back into battle! We will always be tested; nothing ever remains the status quo. Humans will forever be forced to learn more and more lessons: to grow towards waking up, whether we want to or not.
I find my exhilaration rising each time I successfully kick cancer’s ass, all on my own! – This inner strength gives me the momentum to spring from that place with the confidence of a warrior, shining like a bright light and able to share that light with others. The most important component of being a spiritual warrior is to allow yourself to cry, kick and scream, but then to get up, pull on your big-boy or girl pants, grow some big-ass balls and get ready to kick some more ass! Today I strut out of the hospital all by myself knowing that I am super woman!
Health & Light,
Dena Mendes