Fete Lifestyle Magazine February 2026 - Power, Presence, & Personal Style Issue | Page 50

Photo Credit Jeffery Erhunse

Self-Love Is NOT Selfish

BY DR. ERIKA MONTGOMERY

any people

believe that

if you love

yourself then you are selfish. Society has programmed us to believe that being selfish is a bad thing. I typically use the example of someone who asks you to do something for them and when you say no, putting your needs before theirs, then they may consider you selfish. This is ironic because if they expect you to put their needs before your own, is that not the definition of selfish? Being selfish is putting your needs first, filling your own cup with love and care, and then giving from the overflow. “People pleasing” is often an unhealthy pattern of putting others before ourselves, having nothing left to give to ourselves, and then feeling resentful towards others. How does this pattern benefit you or others in a healthy way? It doesn’t. The truth is that unless you learn to love yourself, you won’t attract the love that you deserve.

M