Another fraught aspect of gift giving is competition. While this competitiveness can force some to go the extra mile and find a more significant gift, it can also be problematic. Relationships can become fraught if a person feels that another with similar social standing has gotten a better gift ("Well he got [insert extravagant item] for his partner!") Before you despair over another person's gift, remember that each intimate relationship is unique. The way another person's partner expresses himself/herself does not have to be your standard.
Gift giving is also the expression of a particular social or emotional attachment; people usually don’t give the same gift to a long-time romantic partner as they do to a work acquaintance. So when shopping for gifts this year, take some time to think about the various relationships you have with the people in your life. And remember: gifts do not have to be extravagant to reflect your appreciation for a loved one.
And what about your "cousin's partner"? What do you get the person who you think might be there and don't know all that well? I would recommend giving her a personalized holiday card, so that she at least knows you thought of her. For someone who may be spending the holidays with people who are not her family, this little gesture can make a big difference.
And if you don't have a long list of people for whom to shop, give your time to a local women's shelter or donate to your favorite cause. Join a local social movement that aligns with your values. Giving to your loved ones is important, but giving to the rest of the world is equally vital. The most selfless and meaningful gifts are often those that cannot be reciprocated.