T he following story was sent in to us by a person who wanted to share
what it was like for her to experience domestic abuse from a young age .
A ll names have been changed to protect this persons identity . W e advise
that the following article may contain sexually explicit wording , we felt
that her descriptions of events that took place will remain in this article ,
word for word , as we believe it tells what happened in a way that may help
others to recognise the signs and actions of a relationship that is not
healthy .
P lease read at your discretion .
I
was seventeen years
old when I met the
boy who would be-
come my abuser. Ty-
ler* and I met through
mutual friends, and
from the very first
glance, he pursued
me with abandon. He
knew exactly what to
say and do to cap-
ture my interest and
it worked. Within a
month of meeting,
we officially start-
ed dating. Even
with the eighty
kilometers that
separated us, we
made it work and
it felt magical at the
beginning.
a belief that a man
being jealous of other
men in a relationship
is sweet, or endearing,
but in reality it is a red
light into potential
abuse – one of which,
I missed.
L
ooking back now,
there were warn-
ing signs that I, at the
time, simply put down
to him being insecure.
He was particularly
inquisitive about my
male friends and was
extremely threatened
by my two best friends
at the time. There is
Towards
the end of my
final year of High
School, Tyler’s jealou-
sy became extremely
wild and irrational
and I knew it wasn’t
right. On one occa-
sion, while we were on
a small getaway after
final exams finished,
he got angry with me
for sitting next to a
male friend. When I
sat down, Tyler looked
at me with
anger
in
his
face
and left the
room. I followed him,
confused as to what
was wrong. When I
found Tyler, he began
accusing me of liking
the boy I sat next to
and started throwing
things around the
room. That day was
the first time things
got physical.
T
he following year
I was commuting
regularly to his city for
Nursing School and
would often stay at
Tyler’s house during
my clinical place-
ments. Whilst I was
on his computer
one afternoon, I
came across an
explicit conversa-
tion Tyler had with
a girl. I had never
been surer of my
decision than I was
to break up with him.
When he got home
from work, I told him
that I wanted to break
up and Tyler became
highly emotional,
saying, “If you leave
me, I’ll kill myself.”
He kept repeating, as
he cradled his head
in his hands, pacing
back and forth, “I’ll
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