Feb 2024 | Page 12

12 February 2024 Pamplin Media Group

Gary ’ s Grins

By GARY NEWBORE

The Importance of walking and exercising

1 . Walking can add minutes to your life . This enables you at 85 years old to spend an additional five months in a nursing home at $ 7,000 per month .

2 . My grandpa started walking five miles a day when he was 60 years old . He is now 97 years old and we don ’ t know where he is .

3 . I like long walks , especially when they are taken by someone who annoys me .

4 . The only reason I would take up walking is so that I could hear heavy breathing again .

5 . I have to walk early in the morning before my brain figures out what I ’ m doing .

6 . I joined a health club last year , spent about 400 bucks . I haven ’ t lost a pound . Apparently , you have to go there .

7 . Every time I hear the dirty word “ exercise ,” I wash my mouth out with chocolate .

8 . The advantage of exercising every day is so when you die , they ’ ll say “ he looks pretty good doesn ’ t he .”

9 . If you are going to try cross country skiing , start with a small country .

10 . I know I got a lot of exercise the last few years , just getting over the hill .

11 . We all get heavier as we get older , because there ’ s a lot more information in our heads . That ’ s my story and I ’ m sticking to it .

12 . Every time I start thinking too much about how I look , I just find a happy hour and by the time I leave , I look just fine .

13 . The fattest knight at King Arthur ’ s round table was Sir Cumference . He acquired his size from too much Pi .

14 . A rubber band pistol was confiscated from an algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption .

15 . I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island , but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian .

Charbonneau Men ’ s Club

By TIM BONINO

Many updates to share in February

Coming soon to a course near you

The Royal and Ancient , the golf organization , not a senior golfer , has decided with the PGA to roll back the ball for all golfers . I don ’ t know how you feel about this , but I ’ m pretty sure that it ’ s not necessary

BONINO here at Charbonneau , or many other places for that matter . Of course , it ’ s just my opinion , but such as it is , we don ’ t need it !

Here ’ s the reasoning behind that thought . If you ’ ve golfed here , you ’ ve seen it live and in person . We are all seasoning with style and grace , remember , we don ’ t age after 65 . As we season , we are tightening up like a coiled spring . I think the “ tighten up ” was a dance back in the ‘ 70s . Here , however , it comes with sore muscles , pulled muscles , torn muscles , stiff backs , joint replacements , limps and a crazy notion that we can still smash a golf ball whenever we want . Some of us relish that delusion , and often speak of the grandeur of our efforts from years past . Basically though , as each year rolls by , that old white sphere sails less and less far . So realistically , no rollback is needed here at Charbonneau . We can stay with the status quo golf ball and the stories that go along with that and continue to live our best golfing lives .

On the lighter side The rumor going around that our golf pro is

TVF & R

By CHRISTINA LENT starting break-dancing classes for golfers here at Charbonneau is just that , a rumor . I know many of you have asked him to reconsider , but that ’ s been to no avail . He said that the insurance was too expensive , and the video revenue wouldn ’ t be enough to cover it . I for one am very disappointed . I ’ m hoping he will offer rollback classes starting this spring instead . Note : This paragraph is simply here to see if he actually reads our column .

Looking back

Last month we featured our past president and we ’ ve asked him for some of the special things he thought we should remember about the last several years . These COVID years have been challenging for all of us , and it ’ s good to look back and see how well we ’ ve done despite the threat to us all . Change is always a challenge and with limitations posed by the pandemic , it was even more so . Don was an excellent leader during this turbulent time by shepherding us through a three-year hiatus of the invitational tournament by initiating more member-member events as a replacement . Restarting the Invitational again in 2023 was the next goal and accomplished during his tenure as well . Another successful effort went into recruiting and increasing the number of nine-hole players into the Men ’ s Night Out events each year . These efforts kept alive the spirit and camaraderie of the Charbonneau Men ’ s Club through some dour times . Great leaders always seem to step up when needed most .

Looking forward

Another rumor that ’ s actually a fact is that our current CMC president is a card shark . No , not what you ’ re thinking , but let ’ s just say his bridge skills are second to none . Here I thought Bridge was a mouthpiece with your missing tooth attached , and now I know that it ’ s much more stealthy than that . We ’ re counting on

During American Heart Month , Tualatin Valley Fire & Rescue invites you to join us in raising awareness of the signs and symptoms of a heart attack and the importance of immediately calling 911 in the event you

Greg to put that cunning and wile into play during this coming year for the benefit of all CMC members . I ’ m all-in on that , wait , that ’ s another game entirely . Welcome and best wishes for a successful year Mr . Benesh .

Success in the desert

From Nov . 30 to Dec . 3 , a team of golfers from Charbonneau ventured south to participate in the Pacific Northwest PGA Pro-Am held at the Wo-Ko-Pa Resort near Phoenix , Arizona . The team was comprised of Charbonneau head pro Chris Bensel , Jim Gibbons , Jim Toma , John Deversdal and Gene Harp . The tourney was played on two courses , the Cholla and Saguaro , which is well known to be one of the finest resort courses in Arizona . Tourney play was from 6,600 yards and 6,700 yards with slopes of 132 and 133 respectively . There were 22 teams from across Oregon , Washington , Idaho and Montana . Other Portland teams from Riverside Country Club and Waverly Country Club also participated . The format was one professional and four amateurs counting two net scores on each hole , as well as individual net and gross scores being recorded . The scoring format was the Stableford system .

Jim Gibbons , Jim Toma and Gene Harp placed in the money with their net scores for the first two days of play . The overall team score was in the middle of the pack on those two days . On day three things took a turn for the better with play on the Saguaro course improving significantly . Solid drives , some excellent clutch putting and one team member shooting even par put the team in first place for play that day . The team brought home nearly $ 1,000 in prize money for the tournament . Chris Bensel said “ this was the first Charbonneau team participating in a Pro-Am tournament that had been this successful .” It was a great team and fun experience led by our charismatic pro Chris Bensel .

If you think it ’ s a heart attack , call 911 right away

or someone nearby experiences symptoms . Unlike a sudden cardiac arrest that strikes suddenly and includes a loss of consciousness ,

See TVFR / 13

ADVERTISE IN THE VILLAGER !

Reach every resident in Charbonneau .

Contact Jesse Marichalar

971-204-7774 jessem @ pamplinmedia . com