Judy Wong
Mother of three and lover of Instagram
By Claire Nazar
Families for Life Council Member and super popular
“They did what?” my teenage daughter exclaimed in total disbelief when I told her that her
friends had requested to add me as their friend on Facebook.
“And you did what?”
“I accepted. What else do you expect me to do? So rude if I don’t, right?”
“But you can’t.” She whined.
“Why not? They must think it’s ok if they want to add me.” (Picture me with a smug smiley
emoticon).
That was the most memorable moment we had on Facebook – the day her friends became my
friends on FB. It triggered a running argument lasting over two years. Whenever one of her
friends became my friend on FB, we would revisit the same argument as to how “awkward” it
was for parents to be in their “friend” circle.
After a few birthday parties, BBQs during school holidays, and car lifts for my daughter’s
friends, I got to know her friends pretty well. It seemed like a natural progression to me
when her friends requested to add me as a Facebook friend.
My boy taught me how to use Skype before he left to
study in the UK three years ago and boy, what a great
communication tool I found it to be! I could chat with him
endlessly (think our record was 2 or 3 hours straight), saw
if he had put on weight, the meals that he had whipped up
and much more. I could also catch sight of his messy bed,
the soft drinks, and the potato chips on his table, which
would trigger the maternal instincts in me.
I recall one incident when I was on Skype with my boy over
my mobile phone. I could not hear him clearly as I did not
have my earphones with me. Thinking that he would also
not be able to hear me clearly, I would bring my phone
near to my face whenever I spoke. Each time I did that, he
went: “Mummy, don’t put your face so near the phone!” I
would in turn go: “But I can’t hear you clearly darling!” This
went back and forth a few times until I received a message
from him. “Mummy! I told u not to put your face so near.
So GROSS!! I can see up your nose and into your nostrils
yunno (sic)!!” It then dawned on me that whenever I put my
face near the phone to speak, my nose was in full view of
the camera of the phone. Talk about getting up close and
personal!
I love WhatsApp too – love that all of us in the family can
chat and post photos and keep one another updated under
our family’s group chat. We use WhatsApp to keep one
another “connected” with my eldest away in the UK, my
2nd boy serving his National Service and when my girl is
overseas for competitions oftentimes.
I use Singlish with my children on WhatsApp as I feel that
it makes us “connect” and it makes our conversations
more fun. I know, some parents will be shaking their
heads when they read this. I have also somewhat mastered
the “messaging lingo” used by my children, far from the
newbie days mistaking “LOL” to mean “Lots of Love”!
I remember how my hubby would write in complete
sentences and with proper spelling when he started using
WhatsApp! It was quite funny seeing him still trying to
type out his messages whilst the rest of us had moved
along in our conversation in our group chat. After some
lessons from his dear wife, he started adding Singlish and
emoticons to his messages in our family group chat. The
first time my husband did so in the group chat, my daughter
wrote: “That’s totally mummy using daddy’s phone lor!” I
had to convince her that it was really her dad!
Oh, did I mention I love Instagram too?
Little did I realise that there was an unwritten commandment for parents who are friends
with their teens on social media – Thou shalt not like, or comment or post on your teens or
their friends’ walls. Parents are meant to be seen; not heard.
“But why can’t I…” I whined. Some of the posts were genuinely funny and interesting. “No,
Mom, you are a parent!” I reasoned with her that I was once a teen and resorted to even
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