10MINUTESWITH...
Tay Eu-Yen
By Farhan Shah
Butter Factory Co-founder,
Semi-retired Party Animal
and Mother of One
She has worked
as a litigator, a
law professor
and even as a
ski instructor
but nothing
gives her more
pleasure than
running one of
the household
names in
Singapore’s
nightlife
industry. Well,
almost nothing.
My life has changed dramatically now that there is a new addition
to the family – my daughter, Ainsley. My time isn’t mine anymore
and my schedule cannot be as spontaneous.
I used to do many things on the fly and at my own fancy but now,
I have to plan eons ahead in order to show up at an event.
I do not see these changes to my life as sacrifices. I just see
it as part of parenting; it is a choice. If you have signed up for
parenthood, you ought to be happy to make these changes.
The arrival of Ainsley has not only broadened my perspective
on life but deepened it as well. I now see very clearly what is
important to me and what defines me as a person.
In all honesty, I now finally prioritise my family in a way that I
always claimed I would before but never really did. I have learned
to be grateful for all the wonderful things that only my family can
give me.
Running a business and raising a family is indeed very difficult and I have no secret in being able to
juggle both. I just try my very best every single day to be a good mother and a good boss.
I will never be everything to everybody. I just try to make the best choices for Ainsley’s well-being while
still being able to balance my time properly.
Being a mother and working in the nightlife industry is indeed very challenging. I already decided to
take a backseat role when it came to entertaining people at night during my pregnancy. Most of what
I do now is actually during normal office hours, in the office.
Having said that though, leaving the nightlife industry would mean leaving a part of myself behind just
to cope better with a new stage of life. That is just not the kind of thing I would do and not the kind of
person that I am.
My parenting philosophy is that happiness, health and safety come first and everything else, in the
grand scheme of things, is secondary.
I sincerely hope that Ainsley will find the two loves that I believe make life whole: a job that you are
passionate about and a man she loves.
Of course, I would let her follow in my footsteps and carve out a career in the nightlife industry if she
chooses to. There is nothing wrong with where I have gone.
I believe that parents who stop their children from clubbing are just setting themselves up to be lied to.
Trust me, your child will still show up at the club dressed to the nines; you will just be led into thinking
that she is at her friend’s house studying!
I would never stop my daughter from hitting the clubs. In fact, I do not understand what is so bad
about clubbing that our teenage children need to be stopped. Kids need to be educated about the
dangers and risks of life, not to be controlled. These are the tenets that my own parents taught me.
As a new mother, I would advise new mothers to just do their best, and to be sure that it is really
their best.
If I could turn back time and do something differently in the past when it comes to my family, it
would be prioritising my family rather than my work.
16
Family & Life • Mar 2014