family in our island deals with is a
refreshing change from the typical
narrative you read about, i.e. that only
low-income families struggle with the
burden of daily living. The reality is
far more complex than that and Ching
recognises that each strata of society
comes with its own set of familial
problems and issues.
Ching personally dealt with one such
situation in the previous year when
his father lived with his family for a
period of time prior to his passing.
“Our roof was essentially housing
a three-generation family. My wife
and I had to look after him and our
children and it was not easy. I am
fortunate that I have the resources
to look after him and that we were
able to get the needed help. But, what
about people who are less well-off?
What are the avenues that they can
turn to?” Ching questions.
Ching himself sought the answers
to these concerns, reaching out to
people in the social work and medical
industries and asking them whether
there was help available for different
groups of families. “They told me
about the various types of schemes
available. The problem, however, is
that not everyone has access to this
valuable information.”
This is what Ching hopes to fix
with the mandate given to him
as the chairman of Families for
Life. By creating relevant two-way
conversations with different sets
of parents – parents with young
children, parents of teenagers, the
sandwiched class, etc. – Ching wants
to build strong and resilient families.
To do that, Ching has created what
he calls the “365-day approach”, an
initiative that recognises the futility
of organising a couple of big events a
year in the name of forging stronger
family bonds. Rather, Ching wants
to attack the different problems
plaguing today’s household from the
ground up by putting forward the
idea that it is the small little things,
such as home dinners and regular
communication, which matter.
One of the most pressing issues that
he hopes to tackle is the tenuous
relationship that parents have with
teachers, a matter he has strong
opinions about. “Parents, not
teachers, are the ones responsible
for inculcating values in their
children. This is not something
that can be outsourced. I cringe
whenever I hear people asking: ‘Why
are the teachers not teaching this at
school?’ I tell them that this is not the
teachers’ responsibility,” says Ching
calmly. “Rather, it starts with them
at home. It starts with us as mothers
or fathers and it reflects the type of
values that we impart to
our children.”
Of course, in this day
and age, it is easier said
than done, with stories
of parents outsourcing
parenting duties to
grandparents or the
domestic help while
they work hard to
bring the bacon home
becoming more and
more common. In fact,
Ching and his wife too
fell into the trap a long
time ago. At that time, Ching was
working in a multinational company
and him and his significant other had
to travel frequently as part of their
jobs. When the both of them were
away from Singapore for work, his
two children were under the care of
two Indonesian helpers.
“One day, we came home and we
realised that both Marianne and
Christian were speaking Bahasa
Indonesia! Their vocabulary was
heavily weighted in favour of Bahasa
rather than English and this caused
us quite a lot of concern,” recalls
Ching with a chortle.
Ching and his wife knew that they
had to make significant changes to
their lives and travel schedules in
order to rectify the situation before
it got any worse. The most important
adjustment they had to make was
to spend more time as a family with
their children. Ching’s wife had the
fortune of being able to work from
home on certain occasions, which
helped immensely. The both of them
also synchronised their work travel
schedules so that there would always
be a parental presence at home.
Today, Marianne and Christian have
grown up to become thoughtful,
passionate teenagers. Marianne,
who is 18 this year, aspires to be
an entrepreneur while Christian,
who is a year younger, is a fervent
environmentalist and animal lover.
“I think animal poachers are as
bad as slave traders,” he forcefully
expresses during the interview.
Ching quips: “At one point, we could
almost recognise and name all the
animals in the zoo, such was the
frequency of our visits! Heck, he
could spell the words ‘diplodocus’
and ‘tyrannosaurus rex’ even before
he could spell ‘mother’ and ‘father’.”
Unfortunately, Ching laments, he has
lost the both of them to the demands
of school, project work and friends.
However, the family makes it a point
to go on “tightly planned, coordinated
and non-negotiable” family holidays,
usually during the week of Christmas.
Parents, not teachers, are the ones
responsible for inculcating values in
their children. This is not something
that can be outsourced. I cringe
whenever I hear people asking:
‘Why are the teachers not teaching
this at school?’ I tell them that this
is not the teachers’ responsibility.
Rather, it starts with them at home.
Ching also regularly volunteers with
his children at the soup kitchen to
remind them of how fortunate and
blessed they are with the cards that
life has dealt them.
Within OCBC Bank, Ching has also
helped to put into place a variety of
enviable family-friendly measures
such as the PSLE Leave Scheme,
which actually became the subject
of a heated debate. Senior Minister
of State Josephine Teo even weighed
in with her own opinion about the
initiative; she was critical of the
move. The bone of contention was
that OCBC Ban