Faith Heart Magazine | 页面 4

Blessings of a Single Mom

After three years of a failed marriage I found myself living the life of a single mom. I never imagined that I would be a single mother. My perfect life was all planned out by the time I was eighteen years old. I was to be married by age twenty-five, live in a four-bedroom house on a hill, have two and a half kids, and working in a thriving career. Then after making ridiculous amounts of money, my husband and I would retire and take long trips abroad.

Obviously, that did not happen. Things ended outrageously with my ex-husband. His lifestyle choices made it impossible for us to remain married, and I was the one that bailed out. Within two weeks of our separation he stopped visiting our daughter. This was totally shocking for me. I was convinced he would be actively involved with her. Our arguments always ended with me telling him I would not be with him always, especially with how emotionally drained and unhealthy I was. His comeback would be to threaten me with a custody suit if I left. Those words used to leave me paralyzed. I would imagine just how ugly and costly a court battle would be. I would stay a few months longer each time. But when I had enough, I had enough. Within a 24-hour period, life as I knew it turned upside down. I packed all of my daughter’ s belongings and most of mine and I left.

I became solely responsible for this precious 1 year old baby girl.

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She had no clue how afraid I was when I realized I was going to have to do it all alone. I’ d only started working again two weeks before I moved out. I was a stayat-home mom for about a year. We thought it was best that I stay home because my income was only covering our child care expenses. When I made a solid decision to leave, I knew I needed to get a job. I was making a measly $ 26K per year. I could barely afford to pay rent, my car payment, car insurance, utilities, etc. I’ m sure there are other single mothers out there that can identify with what I’ m talking about. There’ s an old saying that goes,“ make a dollar out of fifteen cents.” Well, that was my life. I would take my last few dollars, and I do mean my last, to buy toilet paper and toothpaste. The paycheck came in on Friday and was gone by Sunday night. I remember thinking I have two whole weeks before getting paid again. How was I going to put more gas in my car? Will my groceries last? Any extracurricular activities like the movies or going out for dinner were very rare. I was smiling on the outside, but inside I was always fearful of losing the little that I had.

Oh, but some way, somehow, I was able to keep everything intact. That some way, somehow was God. He always put someone in my path to bless me and my daughter with what I needed. There was a co-worker at the new job. Her name was Barb, and I affectionately referred to her as Barb-B-Que.