Things got worse when I didn't pursue what
A month or so before my expected delivery, I saw
he wanted me to do. He literally changed a
a change in my husband. Perhaps he had realized
lot. Precisely it was his own way to chastise
that having an unexpected child was a blessing.
me and I did try to understand him because I
loved him in spite of my hurt. I was torn
I thanked God that He enlightened and touched
between the two—the baby inside my womb
my husband’s heart. No amount of words could
and my husband. But as a mother, I could
describe how grateful and happy I was at those
never afford to kill my own child. I could risk
moments. He became once again the caring
everything for the sake of the growing life
husband I used to know. Then came the day I
inside my womb even if it was meant to
delivered our second child—a healthy baby girl
sacrifice my relationship with him who
that I thought looked so much like him. Her lively
seemed to get colder and colder since I
eyes, her curled eye lashes, her sharp-pointed
conceived for the second time. I didn't know
nose, her rosy-cheeks, her brown complexion, her
what was wrong with conceiving so soon. We
black hair, all her facial features resembled him.
did it for love. I thought he would understand
the consequences as much as I did.
Hannah Grace. That’s what I named our second
child after “God's amazing grace” in my life and in
When I asked him why we should resort to
our family.
abortion, he only answered that it was the
I thought that I now have a perfect family.
best thing to do. But I thought I knew why. He
had no job. Our sustenance came from his
A couple of days after we arrived home from the
father who was in Hawaii.
hospital with Hannah Grace, my husband now
switched to his real colors. He really was no
That reason was not a reason to me at all, so I
longer the same person I had known. It was hard
surrendered everything to God. I prayed that
to accept that I was living with someone who had
my husband would have a change of heart,
a monster inside of him. Our family was complete
especially on the moment of the arrival of our
and we should have been happy as others were.
second child.
For a family, there should have been bonding
moments together outside of home, but there
were none. Well, home, if I could still call it home
was the place we were living together.
Faith Heart Magazine l 22