ness . My mom got remarried , and he had an affair and left the family . I became a Christian , and I loved God and loved serving God . But , I thought that meant being an overcomer - which I thought meant never thinking of my past again . After years of going through this , I had to pursue emotional healing . God said it was ok - I didn ’ t have to be a happy Christian any more . I prioritized spiritual health over career and allowed God to enter places I hadn ’ t before . I didn ’ t want him to see my wounds and pain , because I thought that would mean I was ungrateful for him saving me . I went through the process of falling in love with grace again . I realized I didn ’ t have to be an employee of God , but come to him as a daughter .
What was the most challenging aspect of this writing project ? I think people have this image that writers go to a cabin in the woods when it snows and have a peaceful experience . My writing experience was very challenging . For the first time , I had to feel the past that I had stuffed for years . I had spent most of my life ignoring the pain I had gone through . I thought being an overcomer meant never feeling again . Writing the book , I had to feel all the abandonment , rejection and uncertainty , and let God meet me in those places that I tried so hard to forget . Rethinking all those things was very painful .
The total book process has been 10 years long . I started revisiting part of my past with a trusted friend , who helped me piece things together . I then went through a grief period , when I
found out some things I didn ’ t know before . I went through a bit of crisis of identity and wrestled with “ Why did God let this happen ?”, “ Why didn ’ t I know about this ?” and “ I can ’ t believe this is the family God chose for me .” Then I went into a season of getting my heart right and put the book on the back burner . When I picked it back up , it took another three years to finish it . The book has changed several times throughout the process . It has been hard to not just write but ask God how he wants to use it – to lay down my expectations and ask him what his message is .
Can you offer any practical tips for Christians to be more authentic with each other and with God ? We have to begin incorporating the language of lament into our vocabulary . So , even when