Faith Filled Family 2015 Issue 2 | Page 26

mentioned it. A woman’s initial reaction to being told that they should fulfill Today, the topic between their husband’s sexual needs (as married couples has become he should yours) is indignation. I almost distasteful for some. It is admittedly had the same reaction the attitude of if he’s horny and myself when confronted with this I’m not, he should respect my truth. My internal conversation feelings and please himself. It was something like: “Why should is not my place to take care of I be expected to “put out” when his incessant needs. He should I don’t want to? Sex should be respect your desire that you don’t a mutual thing and would it hurt want to have sex, but as his wife, him to be a bit more romantic you need to fulfill his needs too. and a little less ‘wham, bam, If you feel the scales in terms of thank-you ma’am?” equality are not balanced, then you need to communicate your In a way, it is humorous- our thoughts to him lovingly because thought process- however the in most men’s minds, if you feelings behind them are real. aren’t indicating that there is a Women don’t want to feel like problem, they think everything is a possession to their spouse. going great. They want to be romanced and pursued- that’s why we You are to blame, though. If like romance novels and sappy he doesn’t hear otherwise, how movies! It seems unfair to us to is he to know what’s going on? be told that we have to meet our Men are oblivious to “subtle” husband’s sexual need when cues, unlike women. They are ours need for romance goes more logical problem solvers neglected. We don’t get aroused than emotional readers. You need to speak male to be heard. He’s just wired that way. The irony is that when it comes to sex, it’s racier outside of marriage and steamer than it is inside of marriage where it belongs. Maybe it’s the thought of doing something “naughty” or “forbidden” that generates excitement. It could also be that with increased responsibilities, life, the pressures of life, financial and career woes, and children that many spouses just don’t make time for each other anymore. They aren’t focused on one another. When they do come together, they are so exhausted that all they give each other are scraps. at the drop of a hat- it takes time. Why do men seemingly get what they want? Yet there are two sides to this argument and the truth is somewhere in the middle. The reality is that you could be unintentionally damaging your relationship. Men need sex to feel love, and women need love to have sex. The relationship is wonderfully intertwined, and if a husband loves his wife, he will not mind romancing her a bit. Most men, however, think that romance is expensive so they shy away from it. Wives, you may have to give him some costeffective solutions. When one side of this dynamic fails, however, the result is rejection- especially for a male. Men will only suffer this type of rejection for a short time before they become tempted- and