40
Ask, Don’ t Assume
Parkinson’ s can change so much for your loved one. Symptoms can impact not only how they feel, but also how they carry themselves and interact with others. As you notice changes, be careful not to assume you know what’ s going on. Instead, ask.
For example, a person who used to be outgoing might gradually withdraw from social interactions. They may no longer seem interested in attending a weekly dinner with long-time friends. It’ s easy to guess the reasons, but it’ s important to hear directly from your loved one what’ s going on. Are they:
+ Worried about falling or being able to safely move through the restaurant?
+ Embarrassed about symptoms interfering with eating or using a walker?
+ Fatigued or experiencing apathy that makes it difficult to go out?
Make Communication a Habit
As with any skill, the more you practice, the easier it becomes. To build a habit, set aside regular time to talk. Start with 10 minutes and see where it goes. There’ s no agenda; talk about anything you want. You might even consider making Parkinson’ s and other“ heavy” topics off-limits.
You could also plan a weekly check-in where you talk about one thing that went well over the past week, one thing that didn’ t go as well( and what you learned or will do differently), and one thing you noticed or appreciated your loved one doing. Be specific!
When communication is a habit, it becomes easier and more natural, both in and out of structured times. That’ s the“ talk often” part of this principle: Conversations are rarely one and done. You and your loved one will want to revisit the same topics regularly as Parkinson’ s and life changes, and as your thoughts and approaches change along with them.
+ Fearful that medication will wear off while they are out?
+ Nervous about keeping up with conversation or whether people will understand them?
When you understand the why, you can problem-solve together. Considering changing where you eat, when you eat or how many people join. Maybe another activity not centered on food is a better choice. Identifying the why will help you stay engaged with the activities and people you love.
Every day at 4 p. m., after Billy’ s nap, we sat down and had a beer or a cup of tea. Billy had trouble hearing, processing and speaking. Sometimes it would take him up to 30 seconds to respond. He often used thumbs-up / thumbs-down. It also helped to ask simple, short answer questions.
Jessie Drew-Cates
Table of Contents