This month I’ve been keeping busy out and about in
several nurseries, which I always enjoy. I’ve been holding
parent meetings to talk to parents about parenting styles and how to make
informed decisions when considering the best response to their child’s
behaviour. Being a parent is the most rewarding job but also can be one of
the hardest ones, for which many parents are unprepared. The parents in
the meetings agreed that they learnt much of their parenting style from
their own parents, but also from other family members, friends and social
media and that sometimes that can be confusing at the best and not
helpful at the worst. As practitioners working in a nursery we are often the
ones that parents turn to for support and advice and its important that we
support parents in a respectful and professional way.
In each meeting, we discussed parenting styles - authoritative,
authoritarian, permission and neglectful, and I described the style and the
impact on a child’s social and academic progress. I asked parents to
consider their dominant style and also the style of anyone who co-parents
their child. I reassured the parents that there is no such thing as a perfect
parent and, while there is not always one right answer, there are better
ways of doing things. Parents need to realise that what they do now has a
long term effect on their child – no pressure then!
In the meetings we talked about the need for consistent routines and
boundaries and the need for children to have some appropriate choices
and be encouraged to be independent. I also spoke about the need to
change the adult’s behaviour if we are to change a child’s behaviour, and
the importance of being a good role model. Too often parents are worried
about how to be the perfect parent and put pressure on their child and
themselves. Parents need to pick their battles and remember to, where
possible, ignore undesirable behaviour and catch their child being good
and praise the behaviour they want. We discussed scenarios that included
meal times, safety issues, giving choices, tired and hungry children,
developmental issues and experiencing transitions and how to understand
them from a child’s’ viewpoint while remaining the calm and consistent
adult in the situation.