Eye on Staff February 2012 | Page 3

Birthdays

Scooter's Message Message

By Deb Cautley

Lately, I find that I am spending a lot of my work day on desks. However, I keep getting told that I have to stop touching the computer. Now, I consider myself to be of bout averge intelligence and so could not understnd why the computer would be off limits for me when everyone else gets to use it. So...I asked the ever-wise aunty Karen the reason. As always, Karen was precise and gave many reasons...

The Top 20 Reasons Dogs Don't Use Computers:

Index

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Scooter's Message

A Cause Worth The Effect

Client Profile: Brandon Powder

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SPARC

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Can't stick their heads out of Windows 95

Fetch command not available on all platforms

Hard to read the monitor with your head cocked to one side

Too difficult to "mark" every webite visited

Can't help attacking the screen when they hear "you've got mail"

Fire hydrant icon is very frutrating

Involuntary tail wagging is dead giveaway they're browsing www.pethouse.com

Keep bruising noses trying to catch that MPEG Frisbee

Not at all fooled by chuckwagon screensaver

No emoticon for tail-wagging...

...But they will with the introduction of Microsoft

Opposable Thumb

Three words: Carpel Paw Syndrome

'Cause dogs aren't geeks! Cats on the other hand...

Barking keeps activating the voice recognition software in Deb Eddington's office

SmellU-SmellMe still in beta test

SIT and STAY were hard enough, GREP and AWK are out of the question!

Saliva-coated mouse gets mighty difficult to maneuver

Annoyed by lack of newsgroup, alt.pictures.masters. leg

Butt-sniffing more direct and less dceiving than chat rooms

Todjndiw{wfpwfw[f'f[wf';]f20

So I told Aunt Karen I'd stop using the computer - as you can tell by my article I fibbed!! - Scooter Marly