Mind
mind raced back to the first and only time I met
this man. In an instant, you were like family and
undeniably, you felt loved.
“People may not remember exactly what you did,
or what you said, but they will always remember
how you made them feel.”
- Maya Angelou
The Eulogy
It’s always amused me how people become saints
in their death. All we hear are stories about the
good these people created in their lives, the
happy memories, the laughs, etc. But not until I
sat, rather uncomfortably, in the jammed-packed
enormous cathedral honoring the life of this
beautiful soul did the ass-backwards thinking of
the eulogy really hit me. Why is it that we wait
until someone is gone to truly honor them? Why
are we choosing to be too busy with our frenetic
lives to take time to truly BE with one another?
By: Stacy R. McKenna
Transformational Coach • Speaker • Writer •
Producer
I’m finding the older I get the more bittersweet
the holidays become as loved ones who once
joined us at our tables and other holiday
festivities cease to be with us. The void
sometimes seems to outweigh the joy that
surrounds us. People die. It’s part of life. No one
gets out alive. Wow. Such a harsh statement for
an opening paragraph, wouldn’t you agree? But
bear with me, won’t you? For it is my hope that
after you read this you will take the time to reflect
and begin to choose differently.
It shouldn’t take something tragic to remind us of
what’s really important, should it? It’s so arrogant
to think we have tomorrow. I may not have known
Ernie well during his life, but for what he taught
me in his death, I am forever grateful.
For months I have been unsettled thinking how
difficult the holidays would be for my husband
this year. He lost his mother in February and as
anyone can imagine that first year with one less
plate setting, one less gift under the tree, one less
glass clinking yours in Salut!, one less embrace/
kiss with a welcoming hello and heartfelt goodbye , that the pain of the void could undoubtedly
feel almost unbearable. Little did I know another
curve ball was on its way. As fate would have
it, 10 days after Thanksgiving, a dear friend of
his died tragically in a car wreck. I’m not sure
which is worse, being the receiver of or watching
someone you love take the gut-wrenching blow.
Make the time to smile, to listen, to laugh, to
reflect, to hug, to kiss and to hold hands. Make
that phone call. Have that conversation, go for
that drive and visit. Show someone you love him
or her in such a way that they truly get it. Bake
the cookies with the kids, make a mess, use the
fancy dishes & glasses, play more. Take the walk,
book that trip, try something new, celebrate you
and your life…all of it. Put your cell phones down
and your to-do lists aside and be present with the
ones that matter most. It’s the time and attention
that our loved ones crave… far more than any
material thing could ever offer. Be the ear, the
shoulder, the embrace, the smile, the energy that
someone needs. Be it NOW.
As difficult as the days that followed this numbing
news were, there was also a beautiful silverlining that shined ever-so brightly, that even the
bitter cold of a snowy New England day was no
contest for it’s warmth and light. I found myself
surrounded by a resounding boom of hilarious
stories leaving the lips of not only my husband,
(who considered this man not only a life-long
friend, but one of the most influential male
figures in his life), but from the droves of people
wrapped around the funeral home waiting for
hours in the bone-chilling cold to pay their
respects to the family of this stellar man. My feet
were numb, my lips blue, teeth-chattered with
every gust of wind that assaulted all that stood in
that line. Nevertheless, the frigid temps paled
in comparison to the love surrounding us all. My
Typically, I would be too busy to reflect, sit and
write this. Today I’m choosing not to be.
Thank you Hernani “Ernie” Branco for teaching
me, you clearly had it all figured out.
“We will never be the same as we were before
this loss, but are ever
so much better for having had something so
great to lose.” -Leigh Standley
For more information or to schedule a complimentary
coaching session please contact: Stacy McKenna
Transformational Coach, ICF Certified
Office: 508.362.4063 Cell: 203.710.6822
[email protected]
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