EURASIAN EDUCATION №8-9 2015 | Page 20

Psychology ¹8-9 (8) 2015 Мақала балалар мен жасөспірімдердің мінез-құлқындағы агрессиялық, қиқарлық мінез, жүріс-тұрыс проблемаларына арналған. Автор балалар мінез-құлқындағы проблемаларды анықтау мен олардың алдын алу, балалар мен ересектердің қарым-қатынасын үйлестіру жолдарын сипаттайды. В статье представлены материалы о поведенческих проблемах детского и подросткового возраста, связанных с агрессивным, оппозиционно- вызывающим поведением. Кратко описаны методы изучения, профилактики агрессивных тенденций, потенциально-враждебных реакций у детей, подростков и их родителей. The article presents the materials on behavioral problems of children and ado- lescents related to aggressive, oppositional defiant behavior. The author briefly describes methods of studying and preventing aggressive tendencies and poten- tially hostile reactions in children, adolescents and their parents. ULVIYYA MIRZEYEVA Doctor, psychologist, child development specialist Baku, Azerbaijan BEHAVIOURAL PROBLEMS IN SMALL CHILDREN AND WAYS TO MANAGE THESE PROBLEMS "I still feed Emin myself, because if I allow him to eat himself he spills and drops food all around him. When I scold him for this his behaves even worse." "Every time I put Aynur down on the floor for a minute she screams and cries. She cries even more when there are other people around." "Anar always starts fights with other children, he behaves badly at school and at home. It seems like he enjoys an- noying others." Any child may show above mentioned and other types of behavioural issues. In most cases children try to attract attention by behaving badly, because they are neglected when they behave well. All behaviour types have reasons, they do not occur for no reason! Unusual behaviours can have several reasons. These reasons may include cognitive delay, unmet basic needs (love, care, attention, food etc.), pain, insufficient commu- nication, fear, anxiety, isolation (loneliness), anguish, long- ing for attention or too much attention. However certain behaviours that children show at certain ages may well be part of their normal developmental pro- cess and play an important role in the formation of child's personality. For example, from 18 months to 4 years of age almost all children can be stubborn, headstrong, selfish, provocative and withdrawn which respectively form the ba- sis of personality traits such as strong will, sense of self, self-esteem, self-protection and care. Parents need to un- derstand the importance of these behaviours in the forma- tion of their children's future personalities and need to re- spond adequately. Responding to children's behaviour Parents predominantly show following reactions to their children's bad behaviours: punish, tie hands, iso- late, beat, frustrate, keep child dirty, not give him/her water or food. All of these reactions are considered to be negative and unacceptable. They worsen children's behaviours rather than improve them. How should a parent react then? 1. Reaction to be shown during child's bad behaviour: Hug the child to calm him/her down, provide safety, and turn aggressive behaviour into a positive one by distracting him/her (for example, if child is beating himself/herself up on the head hold his/her hands, sing a song or bring him/ her towards a window to 'look at the cars outside') 18 Ignore the behaviour, not the child. 2. Specific approach is used to get rid of a behavioural problem. This specific approach consists of five steps: Step 1. Carefully observe your child during bad behaviour and carefully ge