DEVELOPMENT someone as a friend or foe . It then processes the information we receive from that person according to which category we ’ ve put them in . What this means is that if two people are saying the same thing to us but one is considered a foe and the other a friend , we will interpret what they are saying differently . It ’ s like giving someone the benefit of the doubt . We will do that for a friend , but not for a foe . If you see colleagues as foes , you ’ re more likely to misinterpret their intent , which leads to distrust , disagreement and unproductive competitive behaviour – none of which builds a collaborative and productive workplace .
Why friendships at work are important
Organisations often talk about culture but rarely consider the role that friendships play in creating a healthy , dynamic and productive work environment , says Michelle Gibbings
THE EXPERT
Michelle Gibbings is a workplace expert . She is the author of ‘ Step Up : How to Build Your Influence at Work ’, ‘ Career Leap : How to Reinvent and Liberate your Career ’ and the new book ‘ Bad Boss : What to do if you work for one , manage one or are one ’.
Some leaders believe that if a work environment is too collegiate , people will stop challenging each other and ideas won ’ t be debated . However , combative environments where a dominant person subjugates the opinions of others , is unfriendly and is highly-politicised can be destructive . The damage to employees ’ mental health and wellbeing from working in such an environment is well-known .
As high-level EAs will know only too well , workplaces are complex environments – bringing together a melting pot of people with varying ideas , assumptions , experiences , expectations and ambitions . It ’ s about finding the balance between too much friendship and not enough collegiality . If you want an engaged and productive workplace where employees constructively challenge and go beyond the norm , let me tell you why healthy friendships should be encouraged and nurtured …
Work friendships foster collaboration Our brain quickly assesses whether it sees
Work friendships build engagement In his book Vital Friends : The People You Can ’ t Afford to Live Without , Tom Rath outlines research showing that employees who have best friends at work are seven times more likely to be engaged in their jobs ! Additionally , if they have at least three vital friends at work they are 96 % more likely to be satisfied with their lives .
Work friendships inspire happiness Having a solid network is vital for career success but it ’ s meaningless if the relationships in the network aren ’ t genuine . It ’ s easy to spot the person who can network , network , network yet has superficial and highly transactional relationships . And a relationship that focuses purely on what you can get from it fuels disconnection . Instead , having someone you can share experiences with , bounce ideas off and talk through problems is good for the soul . When you work with people you like , work is more enjoyable and you ’ re likely to find yourself more connected . When you feel more connected at work , you ’ ll feel happier .
Work friendships accelerate progress Good friends don ’ t just agree with you – they challenge and inspire you to greater heights . They help you see things from different perspectives and explore new ideas because it ’ s much easier to take input and feedback from a friend who you trust . Similarly , an affiliative and collaborative environment makes it easier for ideas to be debated , agreed on and progressed .
So , if you want to develop an influential and effective team , consider the role friendship can play in helping to create the culture you need to excel . As you do this , remember the words of relationship expert Dale Carnegie : “ You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you .” S
michellegibbings . com
Winter Issue 2024 | Executive PA 57