I
have three very unique, very different
children. I am constantly amazed by them!
Certainly there have been times that I (and
they) have questioned my sanity...or lack
thereof...in trying to parent these children but
for the most part I wouldn’t trade a minute of
it!
My older daughter is now a grown, married
woman. She is a phenomenal young woman
with a passion for teaching. I had no idea
when we signed her up in kindergarten way
back when, that one day she would be teaching kindergarten! How did that happen? God
had a plan and a purpose for her for today
but the journey started well over twenty years
ago. Who knew? God did.
I remember that little girl learning to ride a
bike. She fell off that thing more than she
stayed on. At one point, after crashing once
again to the pavement, she picked herself up
and in tears kicked the seat with all her might
announcing to her father that she would
never learn to ride a bike! It’s hard for a parent to watch their children struggle, but it’s
also a time to instill a value, “Don’t give up!
Don’t quit!” her Dad said, and taking her by the
hand, straightened her helmet, and plunked
her back on the bike. “You can do it!” he said
and with a push, he sent her on her way again.
Yes, she wobbled and yes she even fell off a
few more times but eventually her perseverance paid off and she mastered bike riding. It
was hard but she didn’t quit.
In grade seven
she became the
victim of bullying. It was the
worst time of
our lives.
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She had become the primary target of some
malicious girls at her school who took great
pleasure in undermining everything about her.
They called her degrading names; called her
stupid, and maligned her every chance they
could. They tripped her, pushed her into her
locker and laughed at her. Her marks plummeted, she started to look sickly and pale.
She started to dress in sombre colours and
she rarely smiled. She had few friends and at
one point she wanted to die. Her father and
I tried to question her about school but she
was tight-lipped and was a good enough actress at home to make us believe that everything was okay. We had no idea how serious
the bullying situation had become until her
piano teacher, who was also a close personal
friend, called me and said that our child had
confided to her in the middle of her piano lesson that she was thinking thoughts of suicide.
In horror and in panic, I ransacked her room
looking for anything that she might use to hurt
herself, instead I found her diary.
As a parent, you make split second decisions
some times. In this case to save her life was
much more important than respecting her privacy. I didn’t hesitate. Page after page of heart
wrenching pain was written in her handwriting. I wept with grief over what my child was
going through at school, things she had never
shared with us. When I confronted her later
about it, she was horrified I had read her most
private thoughts. I had betrayed her trust. I
didn’t apologize for that. I wished I had done it
sooner.
For a day or two, she was more angry with me
than she was at the bullies at school. I was
okay with that. Now that I knew what was really going on in her life I could come alongside
her and help, even though she rejected that
at first. We immediately contacted the school,
set up meetings with the school counsellor,
her teachers, and the principal and we illicited
prayer support from our church family.
Over the next several weeks, everywhere my