Stewardship
I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.
John 10:10b, KJV
One that at times has been evasive….
There's a wall there, thick, deep, wide, and nothing can pass through it. In this moment of despair and hopelessness, this wall built by my fears and doubts began to crumble.
I was 30, had 4 kids, and had been married for 12 years, when I began to realize that although I had accepted Jesus into my heart, I monitored my receiving of His freedom, His voice, the price that He paid for me, based on what I believed I deserved to receive.
The foundation, having the weight of my brokenness, the years of accumulation of life hurts, was cracking, which meant that I was cracking. This impenetrable wall of fear could no longer stand with so much built up pressure behind it. So what did I do? I worked harder and faked my Christian existence better, covering my brokenness with my very capable talents and gifts, saying and doing the "right" thing. Ashamed of who I was, I hid the beautiful woman He created me to be because I believed I didn't deserve her. I deserved to grovel and do it alone.
When I first received Jesus as my Lord and
Savior at the age of 20, it was a powerful
encounter with light, truth, and hope! In
that moment of churning when I said
“YES!” I knew my life would never be the
same. What I didn't understand at the time
of this new birth was how much the faulty
foundation of my childhood, the trauma,
the life experiences, the belief system
created from the lies of the enemy being
spoken through those who shaped my past
identity, would cloud the revelation of this
new beginning.
The shame that I carried kept me from receiving the fullness of His resurrection power, His abundant life. I had judged, tried, and imprisoned in a deep dungeon those parts of me that had been abused, punished, and made fun of by others, in order to survive. I became a functioning Believer that didn't enjoy a complete heart
The Power
of Receiving
Life In Abundance