The five stages of girlhood
1. Creating a total girl
All girls go through stages to become
a woman. These stages teach her the
five big lessons of growing up: being
secure, learning to explore, relating
to other people, finding her soul and
taking charge of her life. Adult help
is needed for all of these, and we as
adults have to know what to do.
Parents who know the map of
girlhood can organise their lives to
provide what is needed.
It is your daughter who makes
the journey, but you are her coaches,
caregivers and allies along the way.
Taking on these roles is probably the
best thing you will ever do.
2. Right from the start (birth
– 2 years)
Your daughter discovers that the world
is a safe place because her parents can
be trusted.
Babies seek reassurance from us
to manage their natural anxiety. We
need to reorganise our lives so that we
can be calm and emotionally present,
especially in those first six months.
The second six months of her life is
when your daughter acquires the basis
of all her people skills – the rhythm of
interaction and how to be peaceful.
Babies also need to be excited,
played with and awakened to the fun
of life. Luckily that is not so hard.
Baby-stimulation products and
programmes are usually a waste of
money, and may even add stress to
your relationship. DON’T EDUCATE,
JUST ENJOY.
Babies do not fit into your lifestyle,
you have to fit into theirs. Prepare
to have your life turned on its head.
Accept this and you will have a lot
more fun and joy.
14 •
• December 2013/ January 2014
3. Learning to explore ( 2 – 5
years)
The years from 1 to 3 are for
exploring. Give your daughter lots
to explore, make and do. Add your
enthusiasm and energy to show her
it’s okay to be messy, into everything
and playful.
A garden really helps and being in
nature is vital.
Dress her in clothes that are tough
and damage-proof, so that she is free
to be herself.
Have lots of cardboard, paper
paints and crayons around the house.
She might be destined to be an
athlete, scientist, artist or engineer
– encourage whatever she shows an
interest in.
Don’t have too many toys, and
simplify her playing area to make it
more inviting.