THE FIVE FINGERS OF SOCIAL DESIRE
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sensual desire, the desire to delight in our senses, which incorporates itself
within all other dimensions of social desire.
Within sensual desire, we also immediately discover a dimension of
social meaning, for we see that it is impossible to consider the idea of sensual
desire without situating this desire within a specific social context. Indeed,
there is no pre-social sensual desire. While infants are bom with a suckling
instinct, they must learn to respond to the world visually, tactually, and aurally.
The ability to glean pleasure from gazing at the world, the ability to distinguish
and interpret sensations around us emerges from the stimulation of caretakers
who gaze into an infant’s eyes, touching and cooing at them in an engaging
manner. It is through being sensually stimulated within a social relationship,
that infants develop the ability to recognize, integrate, and enjoy sensual
stimulation. In this way, the capacity for cultivating and expressing sensual
desire is predicated on a deeply relational social context.
El addition, sensual desire is culturally constrained. While we may desire
sensual engagement through our senses by eating, drinking, hearing, smelling,
or touching the world, the way in which we approach and encode these
sensual practices is overwhelmingly informed by the culture in which we live.
Similarly, the sensual desire for ‘nature5 is a social form of desire. In the West,
for instance, from the day we are bom, we develop culturally specific
understandings of what we will categorize as ‘natural5 as well as what aspects
of this ‘nature5 we will find appealing, As illustrated by theorist Donna
Haraway, historical understandings of ‘landscape5, ‘the pastoral5, Wilderness5,
and ‘animality5 inform the ability to identify and respond to those sensual
aspects of ecological reality we take for granted as ‘natural5.9
Sensual desire is contingent upon social, cultural, and political practices
that establish the standards by which we distinguish such sensual values as
beauty, strength, grace, and taste. Whether we express a desire to see, touch,
smell, or talk to another person, this desire to associate sensually is both
socially constrained and facilitated. And because we endow these social
interactions with specifically sensual contexts, such as in the sharing of food,
music, dance, or sexuality, we imbue these associative activities with a
dimension of sensual desire as well.
AssociATivE DEsiRE: TIhe DesIre To Know OtIher
Associative desire, the second finger of social desire, adds another dimension
by beginning with the assertion; “7 want to know you." Whereas association is
not always explicitly ‘physical5 or ‘sexual5, there exists a dimension of sensuality
within an association between people who feel related or bonded. This
sensuality may range from the flow of voices or hand gestures of spoken
communication, to die visual gaze between two people standing at opposite