Sometimes It’ s Okay To Be A Try-Hard. I was the biggest try-hard from( I want to say) the ages of 14 to 16. I tried so hard to have this look. I wanted to be‘ indie’( lol). It seems highkey stupid now, but delving deeper into an actual reflection of this phase, I realised that this is where I was most experimental with my style and it has helped to shape my style today. I scrolled through hours on Tumblr finding cool photos, then hours online so I could aim to‘ recreate’ the outfits. I would have days where I pretty much forced my friends to wear coordinated pieces of clothing just to take cool pictures. It sounds so petty as I type this, but I was happy and at the end of the day it all worked out.
Judgement From Those Around You. It can hurt. But people will get used to it. It’ s weird at first because people aren’ t used to change. If you’ re slowly integrating new pieces over time, it’ ll become normal for you to be experimental with your style. It’ s daunting at first, but you’ ve got this. I did it, so can you.
Getting Over The Fear Of Negative Judgement & Criticism. I’ ve noticed that as I get older, my fear of judgement has slowly diminished. It could solely be due to my growing confidence, but honestly, I think it’ s also to do with age. There will always be that one judgmental group of people that won’ t grow up. But everyone else? They’ ll move on and start to become more focused on themselves. Once you move beyond secondary education where you’ re forced to be surrounded by certain people and there’ s less freedom in style( uniforms & dress codes), the more people begin to be experimental. I’ ve grown to understand that you will never escape judgement. It’ s more about accepting who the judgement is from. Strangers are irrelevant in your life – they’ ll enter and leave in a second. Their judgement is unnecessary. Family and friends are harder – acknowledge their opinion, but if you know that what you’ re doing is right for you – that this is a formof self-expression and who you want to be – keep pushing through, because at the end of the day, this is making you happy. You’ re not hurting anyone by dressing differently. So the only person that mattersin this situation is you.
You’ ve Got This. This is broad, this applies to everything, but I want to say that it’ s okay and you’ ve got this. Whatever you’ re facing, regardless of whether we’ re talking about confidence or style – you’ ve got this. It’ s Buddhist philosophy – nothing is permanent, everything will pass.
Don’ t Dress For Anyone Else But Yourself. It’ s so important to be doing this for yourself. Don’ t change who you are to be someone you’ re not. It’ s so clichéd, but so true and important. Yes, it’ s ok to dress similarly to your friends or people whose style you admire, but as soon as you start dressing that way for the sake of having that‘ aesthetic’, that’ s when you need to move on and develop your style.
Be Yourself. Following on from above, be you. Once you find yourself, you have to be yourself. Don’ t try to copy or mimic other people. Use othersasa mediumto beinspired.
You Can Pull It Off. So many people say to me,‘ I love what you wear, I wish I could pull it off.’ Well, let me tell you, you can pull it off! Who cares about body shapes, set aesthetics and not fitting in. You can pull anything off if you want to. If you like something wear it. It’ s too big and drowns you out? Wear a belt. Knot it up. Go oversized. The jacket makes your shoulders look wider than the ocean? Knot it around your waist and wear another jacket on top. Wear it hanging off your shoulders. – Try out new ways to integrate pieces to your style, what you like and feel happiest in. If you do this, you can pull anything off.
You’ re Never Too Old. Don’ t let age stop you. You’ re never too old or too young to start developing your style. I’ m going to constantly change my style over my lifetime, I know it. I mean, look at Iris Apfel. She’ s pretty much a white, future 95 year old me.
Fake It Till You Make It. Fake your confidence, not yourself. If you pretend to act confident in what you wear, strut your stuff, keep your head up( but don’ t be stand-offish) and do everything you’ d normally do … eventually you’ ll get used to the confidence in clothing and it’ ll feel normal when people look at the sick vintage look you have on.
A lot of what i’ ve said overlaps, but it’ s important to reiterate the key points. Now, go off into the world, find cool pieces, develop your style and be confident in what you wear. The only person stopping you is yourself. This was both cheesy and clichéd, but I hope it was helpful.