GETTING THROUGH THE HOLIDAYS WITH DEPRESSION
Rough, but Doable
BY BEN KRAMER
Come Christmas and New Year, there’ s lots of talk of love and happiness, joy to the world, the most wonderful time of the year etc. We’ re told to be happy. And yet, I’ m not. Depression and anxiety are consistent for me, no matter the medication, or how much I drink, the self-doubt and thoughts of inadequacy remain. Come holiday time, these dark emotions become magnified, and this is no coincidence.“ I think any pre-existing problems or issues can get put under a spotlight during the holidays,” says Dr. Michelle Gavin, a Psychiatrist at the Family Institute. She believes comparison, particularly comparing ourselves to others, is what heightens our depression, especially around holiday time. And an easy way to compare our lives to others is by scrolling through Facebook and Instagram accounts. Seeing people with beautiful partners, homes, and the amazing New Years parties they seem to have could make us feel disappointed in our own situation as we observe,“ these idealized versions of what the holidays look like for other people,” Gavin said.“ These are people’ s highlight reels,” says Ruth Field, a social worker who runs her own private practice.“ Most people don’ t share on social media the day to day difficulties, challenges, [ and ] stuff of life.”
Regardless, people tend to measure their real life to the“ highlight” life of others, worsening their depression. We lose sight of what’ s good in our life by nitpicking what we don’ t have.“ When you’ re comparing yourself to other people,” says Gavin,“ it’ s easier to see what isn’ t there. And it’ s easier to overlook what you do have.” That’ s the biggest mistake I, and several others, make during this holiday depression. We ignore the good. And it’ s easy to dismiss because the good feels routine. Good friends will always be there, a good cup of tea or cold beer will always be there, your favourite music will always be there, etc. Unfortunately, and both Dr. Gavin and Field agree, it’ s in human nature to focus on the bad in our lives. But taking the effort to recognize what’ s good in your life, what you’ re grateful for, will make the difference. Still, depression is remarkably strong. It’ s inevitable you’ ll have to face it again sooner or later. For me, I’ m uncomfortable in my own skin, something lots of us struggle with. The anxieties of feeling lonely, and not having a“ good” salaried job plague me. Around holiday time, I see plenty of family, and these insecurities intensify as they question me on my love life and career. Year after year, it’ s the same questions. They include,