GETTING THROUGH THE HOLIDAYS WITH DEPRESSION
Rough , but Doable
BY BEN KRAMER
Come Christmas and New Year , there ’ s lots of talk of love and happiness , joy to the world , the most wonderful time of the year etc . We ’ re told to be happy . And yet , I ’ m not . Depression and anxiety are consistent for me , no matter the medication , or how much I drink , the self-doubt and thoughts of inadequacy remain . Come holiday time , these dark emotions become magnified , and this is no coincidence . “ I think any pre-existing problems or issues can get put under a spotlight during the holidays ,” says Dr . Michelle Gavin , a Psychiatrist at the Family Institute . She believes comparison , particularly comparing ourselves to others , is what heightens our depression , especially around holiday time . And an easy way to compare our lives to others is by scrolling through Facebook and Instagram accounts . Seeing people with beautiful partners , homes , and the amazing New Years parties they seem to have could make us feel disappointed in our own situation as we observe , “ these idealized versions of what the holidays look like for other people ,” Gavin said . “ These are people ’ s highlight reels ,” says Ruth Field , a social worker who runs her own private practice . “ Most people don ’ t share on social media the day to day difficulties , challenges , [ and ] stuff of life .”
Regardless , people tend to measure their real life to the “ highlight ” life of others , worsening their depression . We lose sight of what ’ s good in our life by nitpicking what we don ’ t have . “ When you ’ re comparing yourself to other people ,” says Gavin , “ it ’ s easier to see what isn ’ t there . And it ’ s easier to overlook what you do have .” That ’ s the biggest mistake I , and several others , make during this holiday depression . We ignore the good . And it ’ s easy to dismiss because the good feels routine . Good friends will always be there , a good cup of tea or cold beer will always be there , your favourite music will always be there , etc . Unfortunately , and both Dr . Gavin and Field agree , it ’ s in human nature to focus on the bad in our lives . But taking the effort to recognize what ’ s good in your life , what you ’ re grateful for , will make the difference . Still , depression is remarkably strong . It ’ s inevitable you ’ ll have to face it again sooner or later . For me , I ’ m uncomfortable in my own skin , something lots of us struggle with . The anxieties of feeling lonely , and not having a “ good ” salaried job plague me . Around holiday time , I see plenty of family , and these insecurities intensify as they question me on my love life and career . Year after year , it ’ s the same questions . They include ,