5 lessons I learned from life ( the hard way ) because I didn ' t watch Oprah ...
He said he was an anti-social alcoholic , but I didn ' t believe him How could somebody this cute be so damaged I mean , he really is mean , selfish and drinks like a fish not to mention his favorite thing to do is play video games and you know what ? he sucks at sex , too
So , last night I see this guy coming down the street stumbling drunk He sees me and says Hey . And I say Hey , yourself What ' s up ? he asks . And I say , The sky , see it ' s falling He says , you ' re funny . I say , Well , I ' m not trying to be Where you headed ? he asks . I say , Home . Can I walk with you ? he asks . I say , Look , it ' s a free sidewalk We get to my place and first thing he tells me , he ' s bipolar . Then to top that , I find out he ' s a Gemini Some things even I can ' t fix . Give me the serenity
I ' m looking in the mirror , hungover and wonder well , how did this happen again ? It could ' ve been the four extra cocktails I drank last night Out with a guy I swore off of months ago , which started off ok since he promised he would be on his best behavior and he was , until he threw up outside the bar we were at with everybody watching , then , when I came to his rescue they must have all thought : I ' m with him , stupid This is the last time . No more freaks for me . You better believe it
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