Diva Zone ™ Magazine Power Couples February 2018 - Teaser Issue | Page 5

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Hayes: The biggest challenge
has been making sure ever yone
feels
loved
and
fulf illed;
knowing that it is dif f icult to
impossible to please ever yone
however at the end of the day
if the house is still standing, if
people are still shouting To God
Donna: When I f irst met Sam, I
Be the Glor y; if people’s feelings
thought he was ver y handsome, but
have not been marginalized, all
the initial attraction had nothing
hear ts cleared, egos massaged,
to do with his appearance it came
smiles exchanged we have won
because God told me he was my
another day this has been the
husband I know God’s voice, I was
greatest struggle. And really
sure, and I believed God. It really
this has also been the greatest
was spiritual to the point of nothing
reward knowing that only God
else mattered because my prayers
could have made those things
of “God if I am to be married you
happen and kept us all together.
have to send him” He did and that
was good enough for me. Both of PC: Do you believe in Marriage
us are in agreement that we were Counseling? How impor tant is pre-
attracted to God the vessels just marital counseling?
happened to be magnif icent.
Hayes: We absolutely believe
PC: Do you subscribe to the belief in Marriage Counseling under-
of “traditional gender specif ic standing that God is the f irst
roles” in your marriage? Example: Counselor. Considering that if the
Husband provides f inances, Wife need for facilitation or arbitration
takes care of home/children. Why should arise there should be an
or why not? Explain what works for introspective moment investigating
the breakdown in spiritual com-
your family.
munication. What can man tell you
Hayes: We believe whatever the
that God has not already said in so
moment calls for God will empower
many ways before you can listen to
His vessel to stand up and do His
each other with ef fectiveness you
will. We believe God’s Will cannot be
have to be able to listen to God’s
gender specif ied when societ y has
counsel. If you are doing these
so convoluted and subordinated
dif ferences will arise emotions will
roles forcing inequalit y using
swirl but as an individual, you must
gender as a basis of justif ication.
be aware of the impor tance of
Husband love your wife, wife love
surrendering. Counseling is simply
your husband, husband submit
teaching how to surrender and who
to your wife, wife submit to your
better to practice on than God?
husband as God so leads.
To
In marriage counseling what we
believe other wise places the power
have found are people are not so
of the husband in a position not
much disagreeing with each other
divinely inspired; places the wife
as they are disagreeing with God
in a position not divinely inspired.
and the unfor tunate damage from
It is only when God is the head of
disagreement with God t ypically
your relationship that you truly
falls on those closest to us. A s far
prosper. To add to this there are
as pre-marital counseling goes this
cer tain aspects of a marriage that
is an area you should have been
a woman may desire greater and
working on since pre-school. Take
cer tain aspects of a marriage that
all those things you have dreamed
a man may desire greater with a
about put them all together and
great spiritual compromise gender
tell God I have spent a lifetime
should not be as signif icant as
interpreting Your promise hopefully
societ y has labeled it.
Let the
it shall be exceeding abundantly
bread winner be the bread winner,
above all I ask for.
let the bread maker make bread
whoever does which the best that ’s PC: Lady Donna, what is your
biggest challenge and your biggest
how God blesses.
blessing being married to a Senior
PC: What has been the biggest
Pastor?
challenge you’ve faced as a married
Donna: My biggest challenge being
couple?
married to a Senior Pastor is tr ying
come upon your situation. So, what
initially attracted me was a sound
from Heaven a rushing might y
wind created by Donna passing me
by and my soul heard God speak
“Here she is” and I was immediately
attracted.
to make sure that my husband who
takes such great care of all in his
charge takes great care of himself
without coming of f as motherly
but as a loving wife. I am married
to a godly man who takes his
calling ver y seriously he labors
to exhaustion and I want to make
sure I am doing my wholly best
to care for him by being the best
helpmate I can be in order that he
may continue to do his work being
his best self and doing this for him
is also my biggest blessing.
PC: Pastor Sam, how impor tant
is it that you have Lady Donna’s
input when making decisions in
life (home, ministr y, professional,
f inancial)?
Sam: For me active dut y militar y
combat veteran 25 years retired
USAF my mind is trained with
mission imperatives.
I will not
place any aspect of my relationship
to Donna in jeopardy by excluding
her from the battle plan. No matter
which f ield of endeavor or tempo
she will be a co-chair on the
board of Hayes Incorporated. In
all my life I have not came under
the necessit y of an on the spot
decision you always have time
to call on God and call on God’s
helper who is your spouse. I do not
make decisions without my wife
concerning our home, concerning
our ministr y, concerning our
f inances, concerning my job. Let me
expound on this people believe the
only way to cheat or be unfaithful
is physical intercourse but you can
have extramarital af fairs and lose
the trust of your spouse in a host
of areas. Folk lust af ter more than
sexualit y at the expense of spousal
dignit y. The last thing I want in my
life is a look of disappointment