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Diva Zone Magazine
THE NATIONAL CENTER FOR FATHERING STATISTICS SHARES THESE STARTLING STATISTICS:
1. An estimated 24.7 million children live absent from their biological father. Source: National Fatherhood Initiative {3rd Edition)
2. Fatherless children have a greater risk of drug and alcohol abuse. Source: U.S. Department and Human Services.
3. Children who live apart from their fathers are 4.3 times more likely to smoke cigarettes as teenagers; three times more likely
to have emotional and behavioral problems; twice as likely to drop out of school; significantly more likely to engage in
premarital sex; and more likely to be in trouble with the law. Source: National Center for Health.
While reading these grim statistics, you may think to yourself, these statistics have nothing to do with me and my family. Well
it does. It affects all of us, because we are a community of believers. In today’s world, our children are faced with tremendous
obstacles and challenging situations that need the balance of a mother and father.
INVISIBLE MAN A PLEA TO
ABSENTEE FATHERS
MY TESTIMONY BY TOSHA J. BROWN
HISTORY HAS SHOWN THAT MEN ARE
GENERALLY MORE VISIBLE THAN
WOMEN IN THE PUBLIC EYE. MEN
ARE PRESENT IN THE MEDIA, IN THE
WORK PLACE, ARMED FORCES AND
IN OUR GOVERNMENTAL STRUCTURE.
HOWEVER, WHEN IT COMES TO
PARENTING, MEN ARE LESS VISIBLE
THAN WOMEN. WE CELEBRATE
FATHER’S DAY EACH YEAR, BUT OVER
40% OF AMERICAN HOUSEHOLDS
HAVE HOMES WITHOUT A FATHER
PRESENT. THE GREATEST TRAGEDY
IN OUR SOCIETY TODAY IS THE
FAILURE OF FATHERS TO TAKE THEIR
RESPONSIBILITY AS PARENTS.
I
can count on my hands the times my
father was at home. My mother and
father were married until I was 17-years
old ... but he was never at home. He wasn’t
available to help me with my homework, or
to teach me how to ride a bike. He wasn’t
there when I had my first date, or even
when I was planning my wedding. Even
still, when I was younger, I thought that
my father was the very man that hung the
moon. It was only when I started to mature
into a teenager that I recognized that my
dad was never around. There were days,
weeks, and months at a time that my father
didn’t come home.
I grew up loving to watch science fiction
movies. One of my favorite characters was
The Invisible Man. The Invisible Man had
the ability to appear and disappear at will.
He would show up unexpectedly and leave
without warning. I would jokingly tell my
friends that my father must be the Invisible
Man, because he played the disappearing
act very well. I can laugh about it now, but
growing up, it surely wasn’t funny. The only
image of my father that I can remember
was him always preparing to leave. I can
remember it so vividly. He would come
home in his construction clothes, tired from
a long day of work. He would go in his
room to take a 4 hour nap ... which was his
power nap to refresh himself for his night
on the town. He would get up singing while
walking into the bathroom to prep for his
shave. He took the Blue Magic shaving can
from the cabinet, and mixed it in this old
coffee cup, and then would use this brush
to paint the shaving cream all over his face.
The smell made me nauseous every time,
because I knew that he was about to leave.
Within the hour he would be gone and we
never knew when, or if, he would be home
the next day. As a little girl, I thought this
was the normal behavior of a father. By
the time my younger sisters were born, my
father had gradually disconnected himself
from our family, until he was completely
gone.
For my siblings and I, the result of my
father not being a visible parent in our lives
would leave lasting marks. After watching
my father’s example, my brother grew up to
perpetuate the same destructive cycle. He
took to the streets, sold drugs, wound up in
jail, on numerous occasions, and fathered a
child that, he too, would not be visible for.