14
DZ Magazine
Joy and Pain
Refl ections on
SINGLE
MOTHERHOO
God pulls out
strength within
us that some of
us don’t know
we have until we
need to use it.
O
oooh the joys and pains of single
motherhood! One of the recent joys was
feeling excited and in spiritual alignment
to write this article from a place of love and
exhortation; and one of the pains was not being
able to even fi nd the quiet time to write and meet an
important deadline with everything else going on in
life, yet, here we are!
I praise God for being in a place of peace and serenity
mentally and spiritually to share my testimony. God
pulls out strength within us that some of us don’t
know we have until we need to use it. If you’re
there too, I praise God with you! If you’re not, you
will get there! Don’t give up! So here’s a peek into
my journey, the good and the not so good. God has
been GOOD TO ME! I’m still standing!
12 years ago, I became a mom to an amazing boy,
Lawrence Nehemiah. I was in a dark place when he
was born. The marriage wasn’t working out, I had
post-partum depression and I was embarrassed.
Me? Preparing for a divorce? Me? Having to go back
and live with my mom? And with a baby? And with
no job nor income? And still have faith and keep a
smile on my face everyday? What about my career?
I don’t know what to do with this baby! I don’t know
how to do this mother stuff ! And by myself (since
my then husband was in the military)? You’ve GOT
to be kidding me! I for sure thought I was in a bad
dream and was going to wake up. When I pinched
myself, it hurt, so this wasn’t a dream at all. So, I had
to make a decision; to allow these circumstances to
take control of me, my mind and my spirit or me to
take control of my circumstances. I chose to take
control and put God fi rst and trust Him in all of my
fears and worries.
Many single mothers don’t sign up to become
single moms. Sometimes, life just happens and
unexpectedly. We have great plans all mapped out,
but sometimes plans change. As single moms, we
don’t want to be judged. Everyone has their own
story.
Prior to Nehemiah, I was on the fast track in my career
and my social life was amazing! After Nehemiah was
born, my entire life adjusted. He became top priority
over everything. Once my career got back on track,
there were limited late nights working in the offi ce
because I wanted to be home to nurture him and
professional networking events on a Tuesday at 7pm
became obsolete for a while. Instead, I was watching
Dora and Diego cartoons and loving it! LOL!
And then came this FINE football player built type of
man who wanted to date me, when Nehemiah wasn’t
even a year old. He seemed genuine and accepting
that I was going through a divorce and had a young
son. He was great. We dated for a while but I couldn’t
commit right then, I believe it was fear of so many
things. And I was overprotective of Nehemiah and
was nervous about letting anyone too close to him.