Jesus Kissed Me
By: Rev. Donna Hayes
One day, while I was looking into the mirror, I noticed a light but faint spot on my chin, which I thought was the beginning of a small pimple. However, as I touched the area, to my surprise, there was no pimple. As the days passed, the spot grew and began to lighten. I saw my doctor, and he referred me to a dermatologist who very flippantly stated, " You have Vitiligo, I can give you a cream you can try and see if it will work, but there is no guarantee. Do you have any questions?" I was devastated. I had a lot of questions, but this doctor lacked empathy. So, I was certainly not willing to be that vulnerable in front of her. I was left to Google it and figure it out for myself. I began to cry, and cry and cry in my husband ' s arms, saying words like " I don ' t want to be white; I don ' t want to lose my melanin. I love my melanated, honey caramel skin." I tried finding makeup that would match and cover, but it was a mess, and nothing worked. I was flawed in a way I didn ' t understand why. And just after making that decision, I heard these lyrics to this song sung by CeCe Winans, " Beautifully Broken "
Even a million scars Doesn ' t change " whose " you are You ' re worthy, Beautifully Broken Despite being emotionally crushed, I found respite in my faith. I was comforted by the fact that I still had my life! I had to trust that God allowed this to happen for a reason and that no matter the " scars," I was still loved, I was still enough, I was still ME! My family, one by one, on different occasions, shared with me how proud they were that I was embracing my new look. Their support was a beacon of hope. My eldest daughter said, ' I ' m proud of you for not hiding behind makeup.' My youngest daughter said, ' You can be a Vitiligo Model.' My son said, ' Look at it as your beauty mark.' My husband said, ' You are even more beautiful to me now,' And Jesus said, ' I just gave you a kiss!' Here I am, three years later, loving my segmented Vitiligo self, and won ' t even consider trying to reverse it. When people look and stare, my response is, ' It ' s my beauty mark- Jesus Kissed me.'
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