Dealing with Childhood Trauma: An Honest, Transparent Testimony
B y S h y a n n e J o h n s o n
For the longest I believed that I had a wonderful childhood. From having fun with my family to never having to worry about food. This was every child’ s dream, right? All I had to do was eat, sleep and get an education. Couldn’ t be more easier than that. But all of that would soon be destroyed by someone who seemed a very important man in my life. Between the ages of 5 to 7, I am truly guessing at this time, I was molested by my step fathers dad. A man in my life who I assumed was there to protect me and care for me just like my little brothers. I was given the complete opposite. I buried what happened to me for so long that I thought it was just a dream. It wasn’ t until I was getting therapy for an event that happened in the military, that the flood gates opened concerning the trauma from childhood. I started having so much shame, guilt and blame on myself that it happened. I started believing that I deserved what happened because I
I wasn’ t a good person. I truly thought that God allowed it and for that I hated him. Couldn’ t wrap my mind around how people say God is love, but he would allow that to happen to a child. Then came a time where I had to face this head on and speak to God from a place of hurt and disappointment. In that, I learned just because something bad happened doesn’ t mean that God wasn’ t there in the midst suffering with me. It gave me a different perspective on God when it came to trauma’ s past and present. Currently, I am still working through it, some days are harder than others. I tend to find myself questioning God, but receiving peace in knowing that I am not alone in the hard days. Remember to take it day by day and allow God to give you peace and understanding that you deserve concerning your childhood trauma.
It wasn’ t until I was getting therapy for an event that happened in the military, that the flood gates opened concerning the trauma from childhood.
15