THE SPIRIT IN YOU
MisJudged
Article by Lama-Leah
“You have ruined your reputation”
“You aren’t a real Christian”
“You are going to hell”
These are phrase that I have been told repeatedly in the past few months and my perspective of Christianity, Jesus, and the Church as a whole. It was a weekend that I probably will never forget. I felt God’s presence, peace and love. I also found myself shaking in a back office of a roller skating rink, dredging who was going to call my phone next. While determining how I am going to see others from that point on, it is funny how rumors work. In my experience, you can find out some interesting (and sometimes humorous) things about yourself when you hear about the latest gossip. I, as a Christian model have learned how to be immune to the rumor mill within the industry. However, until the fall of this past year, I had never experienced deep hurt from those who are in the Church.
This did not come completely out of the blue. One Saturday in November, I woke up with a new sense of self worth. After years of being bullied/borderline emotionally abused by someone, I stood up for myself for the first time. I stopped being complacent, and told them I would no longer put up with their words. I had been praying about this situation for
years and it wasn’t until that weekend that I felt God said, it was alright to stand up for myself, and so I did. Words were said, and I thought that the situation as a whole was not going to end up the way that it did.
I was at peace but also anxious at the same time. Before I knew it, the night took a turn. My phone began ringing; I was receiving phone calls from seemingly everyone I knew. Suspicious, I did not answer a single call. I took a quick scroll on social media and discovered that I had my very first incident of cyber bullying. He had posted all over my Facebook and Instagram that I have “gone off of the deep end” and need prayer right away. I was shocked that a portion of my personal life was posted on social media, by someone other then myself. As time escalated, so did their posts. They shared different ways that they believed that my life had drastically changed for the negative. Lies were spread, and my Inbox quickly became less then nice.
“You have ruined your reputation”
“You aren’t a real Christian”
“You are going to hell”
As messages started filling my inbox. At first, I started to try to make humor out of the situation. However, as they continued to come I started to doubt my position in the Kingdom. That night, I visited a friend who owns a roller skating rink and cried