WHAT GOD PUTS TOGETHER
Submitted by Dr. Tunishai Ford
Article by Helen LaKelly Hunt and Harville Hendrix
Can Your Relationship Survive the Togetherness of a Pandemic?
Here are 11 Things Couples' Therapists Recommend
Have you recently noticed how loud your partner chews? That her placement of items in the fridge is illogical? That his consumption of toilet paper/soap/the good snacks is remarkably high? That parenting is not one of his or her core strengths? If so, you might be married during a pandemic.
As the coronavirus is obliging us to spend the vast majority of our hours in the same surroundings with the same human adult, we have to figure out new ways of working, living, parenting and just getting along with each other. The good news is that couples now have plenty of opportunities and together time to hash out those issues that they may have been avoiding. The bad news is that they now more or less have to hash out those issues that they may have been avoiding—and under pressure-cooker conditions.
“Anxiety is rampant and people are potentially taking some of that anxiety out on each other,” says Julie Schwartz Gottman, who founded the marital-
counseling behemoth Gottman Institute and wrote several bestselling books with her husband John. “So the relationships that are perhaps a bit unsteady, uncomfortable, perhaps have some tension and don’t have ways of dealing with stress together, can spiral downwards.”
In fact, after COVID-19 cases began to subside in China and people were able to go out again, there was a reported surge in divorce filings. Even now, domestic violence appears to be on the rise And on March 18, family lawyer and British MP Baroness Fiona Shackleton warned Parliament that families could begin to disintegrate during the crisis.
The stresses of having children away from school—but not from school responsibilities —and the financial tension caused by households suddenly losing some of their income can push couples over the brink. Added to all that is the fear of members of the family falling ill, disagreements about what constitutes